Loki Laufeyson
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Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 22, 2012 11:04:27 GMT -7
Was she unsettled by the change in subject? It seemed so, with the way she adjusted her posture after he spoke. If so, it was understandable. Loki himself had never feared the craft or any punishment for practicing it, but he knew most others did. She could be forgiven for thinking that way, as she had been taught to do so.
"I believe the time for formalities has passed, my lady Sigyn. You may simply call me Loki." They had just met, yes, but already she knew things about him that even his friends did not know. It would probably be less awkward if they referred to each other as friends should. His friends called him Loki, and so should she.
She was right, of course. What he considered good would not be the same as her, or any other. He nodded slightly in acknowledgement of her words. "That is fair. I suppose I should say I mean no harm to anyone, as far as what I consider harm." This was probably more accurate. Harm was harm, in the physical sense at least.
"I would not wish to scare you." He had considered demonstrating something he had learned, and now he was glad he had not. There were elements of the craft that perhaps deserved to be frowned upon - destruction, necromancy. Even he was wary of them. A simple trick, such as it was, might not have alarmed her, but it was always better to be safe now than sorry later.
He would have liked to teach her some of what he had learned, if she was interested. And perhaps she would be in time. This he would leave up to her. He expected little from others in terms of magic and intellect. This was a warrior's society, after all.
"I have… occasionally used sorcery in battle. Not the dark arts, I mean. I seldom use those in public. But in general… I find it helps me keep up with the other warriors." Why he was making this confession, he did not know. Perhaps he thought it would set her at ease.
"My brother calls them my 'tricks.'" He did not smile when he said this. He'd never liked the way Thor seemed to talk down to him when it came to magic. Or when anyone did so, for that matter. And it seemed they always did.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 22, 2012 11:43:38 GMT -7
"Very well, my lord," Sigyn said, a tiny, rosy smile spreading over her face. But suddenly, she snapped her eyes open widely and gasped, "Loki. I mean, very well, Loki.", Sigyn corrected herself. "That would be Sigyn on my part, then.", she said. Being called a 'lady' felt weird enough, since she could not relate. Sigyn knew the term was used loosely, but it was quite formal. Loki had just admitted to self-righteousness, hadn't he? Sigyn did not necessarily despise that, but she disliked it. Her mother was very self-righteous, so she had come to be wary about it. She believed a world without it would work as well, only if everybody was, of course. Little did she know how much the ruling circle of Asgard was laced with it. She'd come to know. And she'd come to accept it, by accepting him. "Great loves have turned to hate in the history of this realm. So your intentions might be noble now, but change," she mused. What if the one you loved turned into the one you hate and then, you wished harm upon them? She blushed tremendously as she realized what she had just suggested. "I was just stating an example, I was not....my lo,- ..Loki.", Sigyn mumbled. The wine was clouding her mind too much. "I'm sorry, I'm babbling."
Loki seemed to be confessing, rather than telling her about battle and his brother. It almost sounded like it was a constant competition. This did not surprise her, yet she suddenly felt very bad about it. She didn't want him to feel less worthy or qualified. Sigyn was protective about him and stunned that she was. She cleared her throat, rubbing it with her hand. How odd! "They say you're the brain and Thor's the brawn. And my mother - even though being a sorcereress herself - calls them antics. She thinks I'll outgrow them. In all honesty, I believe secretly, she's just scared. Of magic and of someone being better than her." Tit for tat. A confession for a confession.
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Loki Laufeyson
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Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 22, 2012 12:18:20 GMT -7
The sound of his name on her lips, just his name with no titles, was refreshing. Loki smiled as she used "my lord" out of habit. He would have to break the habit of calling her a lady as well. How strange it would be. How strange this all was, this bond they had found with each other.
"As you wish… Sigyn." He liked the way it felt just to say her name, as well. It kept things casual between them. Here and now, he was just Loki, and she was just Sigyn. Stripped of all titles and pretense, they could only be themselves, without fear of one's position or the other.
He loved being a prince, of course. This was not a means of escape for him. It was a sort of compromise, a way of making his new acquaintance more comfortable. After all, if they were on a given-name basis, she would have no thoughts of him lording his power over her.
She spoke of love and hate, and he nodded. Who could tell what would happen in the future? Sometimes Loki thought he might like to know, but he never did. Perhaps his intentions would change. Perhaps he would become one of those power-crazed lords in the stories. He could only hope he would keep his self-control.
"It's quite all right," he assured her. He did not mind her babbling, to use her own term. "You have a point." He understood what she was saying and took no offense. None had been meant, so why look for challenges where there were none? He was not so paranoid as to think everything was an insult. Thankfully, he liked to think he still had his wits about him.
He chuckled at the comment about himself and Thor. "They are right, I'd say." He had no problem admitting that; he felt it was obvious. But she went on to tell him more about her mother, and he frowned. Antics? Outgrow? He didn't like what he was hearing. But then, had he expected open-mindedness from a member of the Asgardian upper class?
"Of her own daughter being better than her, no less," he murmured. "Does she at least treat you well?" It was a personal question, but one he was curious to know the answer to.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 22, 2012 12:27:19 GMT -7
The night had started by Loki executing his power over her, when he had summoned her to his table. However, had he continued to bring his title and standing into the game like this, she would not still be lingering, sitting here with him, chatting about things that she mostly kept to herself. She would have been polite, distant and eventually, gone. It was nice being allowed to call him without his title. It got the last remains of formality out of the way. Technically, of course, since she still was not entirely relaxed. She had known him to be her prince for her whole life, two hours didn't entirely erase that feeling.
Being someone that had to use her brain rather than her body, she appreciated people doing the same. Of course, Thor was an honorable man, attractive and full of glory. But Loki's brain appealed to her more. Not that any of the two had to appeal to her to begin with. They were alike in so many ways, it felt familiar. She would not expect Thor agreeing on the things she had said. Actually, she expected him to be stricter about protocol and possibly, the relationship to parents in general. And that was what Loki asked her about. Sigyn straightened up and nodded. "Of course. She is my mother!", she hurried to say. Now, was that entirely true? Sigyn was a loyal person. There were countless things about her mother that irritated her. They did not have a very good relationship and Sigyn felt the older she got, the more they grew apart. However, her mother wasn't treating her that badly, was she? Of course, she objected to almost anything Sigyn loved and gave her daughter the freedom she needed only under her conditions and terms, but Sigyn had a roof above her head, food and all she needed. "She's,.....she just wants the best for me. She just thinks she knows best what I need." That was probably the shortest, easiest way to describe it. Even though there were so many tiny details about it. Sigyn looked at her hands in her lap, chuckled. "I am pretty sure I'm going to have a long conversation about this with her."
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Loki Laufeyson
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Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 22, 2012 20:45:46 GMT -7
At least Sigyn's mother treated her well. Loki had almost expected the woman to be neglectful or abusive. Yet perhaps she was. After all, there were many forms of abuse, not all of them physical. If she was controlling, as she seemed to be, that was another matter as well. But mothers were mothers, he supposed. They all seemed to think they knew best.
He tried not to complain about his family. They were good to him, and he was lucky to be one of them. But their ridicule of him, their scorn, and their occasional put-downs had bred in him a… distaste for family life. He had his own children, of course. For them he did the favor of staying out of their lives, believing it better for them in the long run. But Sigyn most likely did not know about any of them, and he would not tell her now. That was a conversation to be had much later. If ever.
"Perhaps she does," he said, not unkindly. "It is not for me to say. I have not had the honor of meeting her. But you are a woman as well, capable of making your own decisions." He was not trying to stir things up in her family; he was just offering his opinion. Perhaps he should have kept his thoughts to himself. But they were speaking openly, and the fear of being misunderstood had long left him. She just seemed to know what he meant even when he did not choose his words carefully.
She told him that she and her mother would discuss him at home. "You'll tell her only good things, I hope," he quipped, giving her a playful grin. He would have been interested to hear this conversation. Freia had seen them leave, he was fairly certain. As had Frigga and Odin and Thor. But in his case, he planned to say absolutely nothing. It was none of their business, and if he did tell them anything, even the tiniest detail, they would put so much pressure on him, he knew he would come to regret it.
"What of the rest of your family? Have you any siblings?" he asked, casually as ever, though he was actually planning and trying to assess whether there was a father or big brother in the picture who would put him through the ringer should he begin to court her.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 22, 2012 22:35:38 GMT -7
Loki's straight-forwardness kind of over-challenged Sigyn. Her mother was a person with a good name, so was her father. Freia took pride and being invited to court on a regular basis, she always looked proper and behaved like a good lady should. The kind of lady she wanted her daughter to become, of course. Talking about her to someone outside of her family in a fashion that would not honor her name made Sigyn cringe. Of course, she preferred honest loyalty, but sometimes, the fake one had to be enough. But her feelings towards her mother were so conflicted, that she struggled to built up an entire lie. "I do make my own decisions. I am just quite...sneaky about them, if I have to," she said, adding a smile so it didn't sound that horrible. Sigyn was in no way in a position to take care of herself. Of course, if things got very bad at home, she would leave. But that would put her mother's name to shame, a daughter moving out, without being married. Sigyn had no particular plan in life just yet. Sometimes, she had thought it'd be nice to become a warrior like the Lady Sif was, she just had not gathered the necessary nerves to start that fight with her mother. "Of course, I will. There's nothing bad to report, anyway," she teased him. A cheesy compliment. Her grin emphasized that she knew. However, this happened to be true. Sigyn didn't realize that he was interrogating her. Surely, she did not even realize the purpose behind his questions. Not at all. "It is just me and my parents. I do not have any siblings." she admitted. Sometimes, she had thought it would have been nice if there was a little brother to take care of. A sister, too. However, a girl would have to go through the same struggle with her mother as she had, so she thought. "My handmaiden Greta and her husband worked for my parents, since even before I was born. I consider them family, too." Now, possibly, she shouldn't, because they were staff. But Sigyn took pride in her empathy for Greta and her husband. They were family. If they had had children, she'd probably consider them siblings. Little did she know that both of them would be blessed with a son later in life. "I'd return the question, but the members of your family are no secret to me, of course. I wonder, had my parents had any more children, would they be as different as you and the God of Thunder are? Or....seem to be?" Sigyn didn't know how touchy the topic might be for Loki. On the outside, Thor and him looked like they appreciated each other. "The two of you seem to be quite close."
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Loki Laufeyson
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Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 23, 2012 11:38:07 GMT -7
There was something Sigyn was not saying, and Loki knew it. He just chose not to press the issue. Whatever it was would surely come to light in time, when she was ready to reveal it. For now, he only nodded as she told him about herself and her mother. He had been a bit blunt, but she seemed to take it well, even offering a smile as she spoke.
Her compliment may have been cheesy, but it brought a slight blush to Loki's cheeks for the briefest of moments. "Good," he answered, returning her grin. He almost wanted to gossip with someone about this wonderful woman, but the only people he really had were his family and friends, and every one of them would take it upon themselves to spread the news. He did not want that just yet.
As for her extended family, he was unaccustomed to bonding with his servants, as it was frowned upon in his household. But the fact that Sigyn had gave legitimacy to his concern that things were not as well with her mother as she said.
Indeed, his family was no secret. Loki nodded a little. "We are." His words were genuine. Loki loved his big brother. He was also immensely jealous of him. But if that jealousy was not obvious to someone as perceptive as Sigyn, then that meant he was doing a good job of hiding it. Neither was this the place or time to discuss such a matter.
"We are close, and we are different. I daresay we complement each other. As you said, I am the brains and he is the brawn." He chuckled. There was more to it than that, but if that it what the people saw, or chose to see, then that was how it would be.
"It was nice to have a brother growing up. We did not share the same interests, but we trained together, and studied together. We still do, from time to time." He did enjoy sparring with Thor, even if Thor was the better fighter. The challenge made him stronger. At least, he liked to think it did.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 23, 2012 12:00:01 GMT -7
Sigyn knew, common Asgardian habits did not exactly include bonding with your servants. But just like Asgardians prided themselves with their young and the warriors and good people they raised, some neglected their children. Sigyn's mother had not been the most affectionate, loving person. Greta however - wanting a child, yet not being blessed with offspring - had always treated Sigyn with great love and affection. They had become friends. Of course, Greta still answered to Sigyn and this would probably never change, but the woman was closer to her than her own mother, knew more about who she actually was. Freia had never appreciated who Sigyn was to begin with. Sigyn was not ashamed to mention Greta and her husband in this regard. She never would. If that gave her a bad reputation, then so be it. Those people worked hard and were honorable citizens.
The blush on Loki's face suited him well. Unbelievable, had she just made a prince bashful. Sigyn chuckled at the thought, but the chuckle turned into a weird sound as she started to clear her throat. In contrast to him, she had no desire to gossip with anyone. Well, except for Greta, maybe. But Gudrun and the other girls did not need to know a thing. They'd assume Sigyn was already betrothed to Loki, because that would be the way they expected it to happen. Meet someone at the ball, marry a couple of months later.
"And did you fight, too?", Sigyn said, mischievously grinning at him from the side. "I always felt that tug of jealousy when I saw siblings fight. There's not deeper display of affection than people fighting."
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Loki Laufeyson
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Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 23, 2012 22:28:37 GMT -7
Though Loki did not know Greta's story, he did realize that anyone worthy of Sigyn's affection must be a respectable person. It was good to have such people in one's life. It was unusual, to be sure. But Sigyn seemed to know her way around people, with that odd ability to see through their actions. She probably had good instincts.
It was not easy to get Loki to genuinely blush. The fact that she had meant she had slipped past his defenses and gotten to his heart. A small, cold, hardened heart it was, at least to him, but it was there, it existed. And she seemed to have found a way to it already. Did she know it?
No, for this was just a moment of friends talking, getting away from the pressures placed on them by their society. For now, only they existed, this section of garden was the world to him. He knew better than to move too fast.
He returned her grin, though it was softened a little by thoughtfulness as she posed her question. Affection in fighting? It was a strange thing to say, but there was truth to it. But then, what did that mean for him? Did it mean he loved his brother more deeply than even he thought?
"We did fight, often. He always got in more trouble than I did, because I talked my way out of my punishment." The memories made him chuckle a bit. He had always known how to manipulate others; it was an art he had perfected over time. Whether that was a quality that would impress her, he did not know, but they were being honest, weren't they?
"Our friends always sided with him in our fights. It seems whenever I say something, others must presume that I'm lying." He shook his head, smiling. It was a common joke around Asgard, and it amused him to no end. He was well aware of his reputation in this regard.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 24, 2012 5:07:58 GMT -7
Sigyn chuckled and then, laughed. Wasn't it smart to talk himself out of punishment? "I'd like to say that a man should take his punishment with pride, yet I cannot help being intrigued with your sharp wit, my lo,-.....Loki.", Sigyn chuckled. Somehow, she could exactly imagine Thor standing upright,waiting for whatever there was to come in order to pay for the trouble he had caused, while Loki reasoned and eventually, ended up being spared. Sigyn acted like both of them, it seemed. She would reason, but just within the boundaries of the truth. If the truth happened to lead to punishment, she'd take it. She remembered having ruined one of her fanciest dresses as a teenager, because she had practiced swordfighting. During the discussion, she had told her mother about the benefits of it and that looking a bit worn out might just be a natural consquence. Her mother still had grounded her for a month.
She pulled her brows together, put her hands between her upper legs and the bench and let her legs dangle a bit. "Maybe you've constructed this persona, the one people call a liar?", she suggested. Sigyn was going out on a limb here, accusing him of this. But they were over protocol and common decency, weren't they?
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Loki Laufeyson
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God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 24, 2012 8:42:07 GMT -7
A sly grin tugged at the corners of his lips. "Well, then, I hope for the chance to show you more of my sharp wit," he answered. If she was impressed by this, then he was making better progress with her than he had thought. Considering how their acquaintanceship had started, it was an impressive feat, if true.
He would not grow complacent, however. It would be all too easy to slip back into his usual mannerisms and lose her interest again. He had taken down the walls he had built up around himself to keep others out, if only for a moment, for her.
And she was right again, about the persona he had created. He looked away for a moment. "I have lied before and I lie often, it is true," he admitted. "But to think that is all others think of me is… unsettling."
He glanced over at her again. "It is not all bad, I suppose. They have come to expect certain behavior from me, and when I break their rules, they simply shrug and say 'ah, he is only the trickster.' But that is not all I am, just as you are not simply a lady of high position. And sometimes I wish…."
He paused. What did he wish, exactly? That people could see the real him, and laugh, as his brother so often did? Laugh at his thoughts and aspirations, just as they laughed at his tricks? "It is nothing," he murmured, looking away, ducking behind those walls again. So close.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 24, 2012 8:51:20 GMT -7
Sigyn listened to him. She almost bit her lip. The way he talked about himself was just too exciting. Maybe, it was not a good way of excitement, but it felt like he was telling a story that was about to peak. He didn't let it. He just stopped to talk.
Sigyn reacted on impulse, as her hand moved forward and closed around his lower arm, as if she had to give him reassurance. "What is it, my lord?", she asked, being so much on autopilot that she forgot to call him by his name. Only when she was finished, she realized that she was touching him. A rush of adrenaline raced through her body. What to do? Removing the hand. Yes. But how to do that without being rude or impolite? Sigyn put a small smile on her face and carefully, slowly took her hand back. Thank the Allfather, that was smooth!, she thought.
In retrospective, this night would feel very surreal, almost like an illusion. Or maybe, a game? However, this felt strangely natural right now. Whatever Loki was hiding, he was not hiding it well. Given that he was called the trickster, she supposed that technically, he'd be perfectly able to cover whatever plan or emotion he had, that he liked to keep secret. By now, she had forgotten about the ball and their surroundings. She didn't even realize how dawn was breaking. She supposed her mother would lie awake until she'd return and interrogate her without even granting her the relief of sleep. It was worth it.
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Loki Laufeyson
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God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 25, 2012 8:20:20 GMT -7
Was his life exciting? To him it sometimes felt dull, but then again, the life of a prince would seem exciting to just about anyone looking in from the outside. In reality, it was not all it seemed to be. There was much politicking and following of unspecified rules. He had to behave a certain way or face the consequences. Of course, more often than not, he ended up facing the consequences.
He knew he was not covering his tracks well. He was becoming adjusted to speaking openly with her, and hiding any more seemed pointless. Yet he hesitated, stopped himself from telling her what he really wanted. Why was that? Perhaps he still had not learned to trust her fully. It did take time for Loki to learn to trust anyone. One night alone would not do it.
It was then that he realized she was touching him. It was an instinctive touch, warm and reassuring. He would have willed her to keep her hand there on his arm, but she soon removed it, too soon for him to say anything. Her hand fell away, leaving only the memory of her soft touch. Still, it gave him enough courage, or perhaps nerve, to finish the thought he had left unstated.
"I would like to be as revered and… loved as my brother. A foolish ambition, I know." He chuckled softly. He was not as strong or talented in battle, or as handsome as Thor. Where Thor was brash and outspoken, Loki was reserved and methodical. He had tried to emulate Thor in the past, but it simply was not in his nature to be that open and spontaneous.
He glanced to where the sky was beginning to glow. "The hour grows late… or, rather, early. I would not wish to keep you from rest." The words were uttered politely, indicating that he was enjoying talking to her, and would only end the conversation if she wished it.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
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If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 25, 2012 11:14:46 GMT -7
I would like to be as revered and... loved as my brother. The words were ringing in Sigyn's ears even when his voice had ceased to sound. Yet again, she felt that need to protect him and speak up for him. It was odd. Maybe, this was the burden of those being different: You naturally stood up for each other, just because you knew what it was like.
Sigyn was stunned, though. Loki had not made the impression of being that envious of his brother. Not until now. In fact, he had seemed to be quite confident, proud. But then again, Sigyn had only seen him on formal, official occasions and most of the times, from a distance. Of course, he did not carry his innermost on his face, in his being, all the time, for everyone to see. She did not understand, though. Thor was a great warrior, a handsome man of Asgard and loved by everyone, that was true. Sigyn just did not see how this was the something someone would crave for, strive for at all costs. She had tried to please her mother, when she had been a child. But it had made her sad and feeling incredibly dissatisfied. And then, as a teenager, she had revolted, loudly, put up fights. By now, she was making compromises, that was true. But she was getting what she needed anyway. She had ceased to do things for the sole purpose of making her mother happy and be affectionate with her daughter. She also had a father and a family name to protect.
"If I may be so straight-forward, you are ....putting the cart in front of the horse, Loki. Just be the person you are. If people love you for this, their love will be true. If you do as you think someone expects you to do, the affection you'll receive will be hollow. I don't think you want this. Reverence won't feel so good if it's not bestowed upon the real you, you know? My mother, she.....used to be very loving, if I did something that pleased her. And I did, as a little girl. Growing up, I realised how shallow and fake this kind of love is and if anything, it makes me sad. Just be yourself and if that does not make the masses love you, cherish the few people that will love you no matter what.", Sigyn said, locking their gazes, even trying a tiny smile.
The silence lingering between them was very spheric. The air was pregnant with some meaning Sigyn did not understand. Something had just happened, she felt electric, almost ecstatic. It grew so intense, she could not take it anymore. Sigyn felt stripped and that was so strange! "Alas, what do I know? You're a prince, I have no right to tell you what's wrong and right.", she hurried to say, averting her gaze. Luckily, dawn was a better topic, wasn't it? Sigyn straightened her gown as she stood. "You are right, I should go home before my mother sends the servants to look for me!", she confirmed his suggestion. Would you mind walking me home?, she thought.
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Loki Laufeyson
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Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 25, 2012 22:39:18 GMT -7
Something unusual had happened. Loki was in a strange place this night. The confession he had made about himself and his brother had been wholly unexpected. He should not have said it, he decided, before Sigyn began to speak.
Her words were straightforward, it was true. He might not have accepted them from anyone else. But they were past being strangers, past being just a prince and his subject. He considered her thoughts carefully, and did not respond for some time. She was right that there would be a few people who loved him, and that he should focus on them. Yet was not the love of everyone greater than the love of some? He could not stop with just a handful of affection. He wanted it all.
His thoughts were distracted by something in the air, between them. What had she said? Cherish the few. And where would she fall, after this night? Would she be one of the masses he should ignore, or one of those chosen few? Time would tell, it seemed, though he certainly knew which it was he hoped for.
Then she backpedaled a bit by invoking his status, and he gave her a faint smile. Here he was no prince. Here, he was not even Loki. He was someone else, living in the shell of Loki, pretending to be that person for the sake of himself. For what would become of him if everyone saw what he had let Sigyn see?
He rose as well, in time to meet her gaze as she mentioned her servants looking for her. Reading the unintentional question in her eyes, he offered her his arm. "The skies are still dark, and drunken revelers surely wander the streets. A lady should have an escort." Besides, they would have a little more time to talk as they made the trip to her home. If she accepted his offer, that is.
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