This is what I brought you [Loki]

[Sigyn Laufeyson]

Times were kind of tense and then again, the misery bestowed upon Sigyn and Loki by Odin's revelation and his sleep seemed to be bringing them even closer together. Sigyn was very on guard about her husband, watching him, trying to detect every sign ever so small about his constitution, about his well-being. He was quite busy now that he was the leader of Asgard. Sigyn spent a lot of time with Frigga, trying to comfort her. It was hard. Sigyn considered it her duty, yet looking at the woman these days felt so foul, so wrong. After all she had had her fair share in the lie that had been Loki's decent. Sigyn and Frigga had never talked about it. The former queen knew how close Loki and his wife were, she was probably aware of the fact that Sigyn knew. Frigga talked good about Loki as usual, it just all tasted to bad these days.

Sigyn's nightmares had not ceased. They were coming more frequently, even when she was napping. But she had not told Loki about those he had not witnessed. There was no need to put more on his plate than there already was. So far, Sigyn deemed it stress, even though she should know better. It'd fade. She was sure.

This morning, she was standing in their chambers with two maidens helping her get dressed and fixing her hair.
"Damn it," Sigyn snapped all of a sudden, rising from her chair. As she turned swiftly, she grabbed for the maiden's wrist, holding it tightly, inflicting pain, "Are you just too stupid or are you intentionally hurting me?", Sigyn yelled at the young girl, who was staring at her in utter horror.
"I was just,...I am very sorry, my lady, I did not mean to,-", the maiden tried to make amends.
"Shut up, you mewling quim. Get out of my sight. Both of you!", Sigyn yelled.
She was panting. Why was she panting? And what had she just done? Sigyn was known to be quite patient, even with staff. Never before had she yelled at a maiden like this, even though she had put staff into its place before. But insults? Violence? What was going on? When the maidens had left, she was standing there, staring, unaware of the fact that someone had witnessed this scene.

[Loki Laufeyson]

This was an important day for Loki and Sigyn. Laufey was leading his forces through a portal to Midgard, and - after allowing a little bit of chaos - the pair would show up to defeat them. The mortals would need the aid. The creatures somehow managed to be fairly intelligent yet completely useless at the same time. If one updated the evolutionary chart, Loki thought, it would be most appropriate to end it with the image of a human with a cellular device at its ear. How their race had lasted so long, he did not know. Science had helped them, it seemed.

He was preparing for the day, having gotten dressed in their chambers and then left to hold court this morning. Everything that needed to be brought before the king had to be taken care of before he left for the day. Fortunately, there had been not much to do, and after hearing some trivial matters about land ownership and such, he was able to return to their chambers earlier than expected.

As he entered, he saw and heard the altercation between Sigyn and her handmaidens. Pausing, he made not a sound as he watched. He knew Sigyn had been losing sleep lately, but he had never seen her this cranky, if that was indeed the cause of it. Perhaps it was a case of nerves ahead of doing battle with Laufey. Though he was unaware of the full extent of her nightmares, he thought those might have been behind it was well.

As for the cause of the nightmares - Loki thought perhaps there was something to do with the spell she used to keep herself from getting pregnant. Maybe it was causing some unexpected side effects. He was biased, of course, because he did not like that she used the spell in the first place. He wanted them to try again. But that was a matter for another time.

Once the maidens were gone, Loki moved forward, quietly stealing up to Sigyn. He had no fear that she might treat him with the same abruptness. He was more than her husband, he was her other half. He would stand by her even if she did decide to be mean to him. That was just the way they were with each other.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rested his chin on her shoulder. "'Mewling quim'? That's a good one," he commented, his tone part teasing. He understood that this was no joke, however. In the millennia he had known Sigyn, he had never seen her snap at someone. She was usually very kind to their servants, though she did know how and when to keep them in line. She was a queen, after all. There was a line that had to be drawn.

"Are you all right?" he asked, more seriously. He did not want to postpone their plans. Actually, a fair few individuals would probably be compromised if he did. The devastation in Midgard was not supposed to reach pandemic proportions. But if Sigyn was unwell, the mortals would have to wait.

[Sigyn Laufeyson]

Indeed, Sigyn was nervous about the upcoming fight. In both, a good and bad way. She was practicing her fighting skills for millenia now, but she had never truly been able to use them. In contrast to the exception that was the Lady Sif, Sigyn was not supposed to fight in battle. She hated it. On the one hand, she did not like knowing Loki was fighting, but being unable to see how he was doing, whether he was okay. On the other hand, she wanted to put her skills to use. So, the opportunity to fight Laufey came in handy. But it'd be a dangerous mission. There was a lot of pressure and tension on Sigyn these days. She tried to keep it to herself. Loki was carrying the bigger burden for sure.

Said Loki was appearing what felt like out of nowhere. Sigyn woke from her stupor, blinked a couple of times as she put her gaze on her husband. Oh dear, he had overheard the conversation! Sigyn felt caught red-handed and quite stupid.
"Ugh," she uttered as he complimented her, even if he did not even mean it that seriously. She retreated from his embrace, got her brush just to occupy her hands, and started to brush her hair, picking up where the maiden had left her.
"I'm good," she lied skillfully, "I just did not sleep that well."
That was not even a lie. Still, she had not had a night of healthy sleep in a while, but had not been that harsh with the maidens before.
"I should apologize to her as soon as possible," Sigyn said, tying her hair together, looking at Loki, "I would not want the servants to think I am a mindless wench."
She was still confused. Saying those words had felt quite natural and not like herself at the same time. Something was going on,Sigyn just had to open her eyes and admit that.

[Loki Laufeyson]

Though Sigyn had said she was well, Loki was not convinced. He did know she had not slept well, but that was not unusual, especially not these days. This was not her usual reaction to sleeplessness or to nightmares. There was something deeper going on. They just needed to figure out what it was.

He let his hands fall to his sides as she left his embrace only to pick up a brush. She was unsettled, he could tell. But he let her move about the room and brush her hair as she wished. She would pull herself together, even without his help if she preferred. She always did.

"Don't worry about what the servants think." Loki was not accustomed to caring how the servants viewed him, and certainly did not think Sigyn should have concern for what they thought of her either. They were servants; they would have their opinions. And as far as Loki was concerned, as long as they continued to do their jobs well, they were entitled to whatever opinion suited them.

He took a step toward her, but did not embrace her again, yet. "Is there anything else troubling you, my love?" he asked quietly. "Is there anything you are not telling me?" He would not be upset with her if this was the case. He just wanted to know, for he could help her better if he knew exactly what was running through her mind.

[Sigyn Laufeyson]

"But I do," Sigyn snapped back, again being utterly harsh. The surprise was on her face a second later. Why was she snapping at Loki now? Why was she snapping to begin with? Just because the maiden had pulled her hair on accident? She stared at him for a moment, blinked a couple of times. Her shoulders fell and she exhaled.

She knew, he'd want to know what was going on, even though times were not easy for him as well. And likewise, Sigyn would want to know what was going on in his mind, no matter how bad or well she was. She owed him as much. Still, admitting weakness was not something she fancied. It was Loki, though. Her husband.

Sigyn closed her eyes, exhaled and sat down on the edge of their bed. "I don't know. I just don't feel like myself lately. Almost as if......as if there's someone else bringing me to the edge all the time. It's probably nothing, just the latest happenings and news."
She didn't really believe that. Even when her sons had died, she had not been this tense. But Sigyn had no explanation as well. Somehow, she didn't realize that all of this had begun right after they had visited the astral plane. Maybe, the Shadow King was clouding her memory on purpose, so that they would not suspect him to be involved. "I should not burden you with my futile problems, Loki. You have enough on your plate as it is."

[Loki Laufeyson]

And then, somehow, the unexpected happened. Sigyn snapped at Loki. He could have understood if he had been angry, but he had only been trying to help, by suggesting that she save her concern for someone else. He had done nothing to earn her ire. He took a step back, blinking, ready to snap right back before he saw the surprise on her face. Remembering their situation, he swallowed the admonition that had been on the tip of his tongue, and instead just looked at her.

She took a seat, but Loki did not follow. He remained standing, expectant. He felt as though he had been slapped. But her tone was calmer as she explained herself, and so he relaxed a bit, and sat next to her as she spoke of burdening him.

"It is no burden, Sigyn. I vowed to keep you well, and I will, no matter the cost." His wedding vows had been about the only promises he had ever made with the intention of keeping them, aside from promises made directly to Sigyn. He did put her directly in the path of danger at times, but never planned to let her be hurt.

"We will figure it out, I promise. Your problems are not futile. Besides, we share them. What is yours is mine." He would not only accept the best parts of her, but the less pleasant aspects as well. That might mean taking on her problems as well as his, but it was something he was always willing to do for her. For her, and no one else.

"Should we put off our plans?" he asked carefully, wishing to see whether her distress was so severe as to interfere with her ability to do battle before they headed out to face Laufey. He wanted her at his side, but if she or both of them had to stay home to keep her safe, then so be it.

[Sigyn Laufeyson]

Sigyn put her hand on his knee the moment he sat down, silently saying that she was sorry. And she was! However it was strange how little she felt like herself. It was almost like she was watching herself snap at people that did not deserver her anger. Anger that was not necessary to begin with.
"Thank you," she whispered. Sigyn felt exhausted. Not physically, of course. It seemed like fate confronted them with a variety of problems at the same time, instead of just feeding them piece by piece. She could not help it, though. Things had to be done. Things like fighting Laufey.

"No," she eagerly said, turning to him. Sigyn cupped his cheek for a second, dropped her hand to the plates on his chest, then. "No, of course not. Sitting in my chamber, pondering what's going on will not help me anyway. Distraction sounds appealing. Besides, anger is not the worst thing to feel when going into battle. It might make me stronger.", she said.
There she was again, the gently determined Sigyn. The one he had come to love. Not the one that snapped at people without having the right to do so. "We cannot wait for Laufey and his people will not wait, either. We'll go into battle and we will win and then, we will celebrate. If I still feel unwell after that, we can try to fix this, too. We can fix anything, my love."
They could not fix this decent, but she could fix his feelings. Or so she thought.
"I want to put what I learned in practice to use. Desperately."

[Loki Laufeyson]

At the sound of her whisper, Loki touched Sigyn's chin gently, though without smiling. He remained unconvinced that Sigyn was in the right frame of mind. He also was still displeased over her behavior toward him. He would not forget that moment for some time.

He nodded as she laid out her plan. It was a good plan, sound. He did feel a little better knowing that she would have some anger to fuel her in battle. It was always better that way, as long as she could still keep herself focused. Otherwise, she would go into a blind rage, and as far as Loki had seen, only Thor could pull that off without getting utterly demolished.

He knew how much she had been honing her skills over time, and had always thought it a shame that she never had a chance to put them to real use. Now she would. Against Frost Giants, who were not the brightest of creatures, but it would be a good opportunity nonetheless.

"Dress warmly, my dear. It may be summer in Midgard, but we will be within the coldest of winters." He knew, but pretended not to know, that Laufey had the Casket of Ancient Winters now, and planned to turn all of Midgard into a new Jotunheim for his civilization. If the Jotun could even be considered "civilized."

He stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "We will leave whenever you are ready." Aside from needing a heavier cloak, she appeared to be ready to go; as for himself, he had already figured out that he did not need much to handle the cold. He had a warm cape for appearances' sake. For now, at least, he still had to pretend he was who his people thought he was.

[Sigyn Laufeyson]

Sigyn would make sure to go into battle dressed accordingly, not in a fine dress and pearls in her hair, but in armor and a ponytail. She'd take her spear and her magic and she'd fight until the end, no matter what that even meant. She'd stand up for her husband and for herself. She was itching to leave, to fight. But it was weird, it somehow went beyond the usual desire to use her skills in real battle. Sigyn almost felt bloodthirsty. How odd. She was not exactly a peaceful person, but she was no monster, either.

"I will.", she said.
As soon as Loki rose, Sigyn did as well, her hands on his wrists, holding his arms in place. Her gaze was urgent as it searched for his. This was not goodbye. So why did it feel like it? Why did it feel as if this trip would create a tremendous change. Come, Sigyn, come, a voice whispered in her head.
Those voices were waking nightmares. But they were her secret. For now.
"Loki," she pleaded, moving her hands from his wrists to his jaw, "Just.........I love you. I'll always love you. Never forget that."
Every day, every fiber of her body was eager to show him. And now that he had doubted her love, because of his true nature, she was even more determined to show him.
"I will kiss you before we depart and I will kiss you when we return.", she promised him. Sigyn would keep this promise. And hopefully, so would he.

[Loki Laufeyson]

Though Loki was going into battle once again, there were a few differences this time around. He had the opportunity this time to fight alongside Sigyn, just them and whatever bystanders might become caught up in the chaos.

"You may also kiss me on the battlefield, If you wish," he said, lightly teasing her. She seemed to have forgotten that she would be there too. Or perhaps it was simply force of habit. She was accustomed to saying goodbye to him, not knowing whether he would return alive. He was glad that would not be the case this time.

He had no idea of the voices she was hearing. If he had, he would not have allowed her to leave with him unless they figured out exactly what was happening to her. Nightmares were one thing; voices, another.

However, he took her odd behavior as nothing more than nerves ahead of her first big battle. This had been a long time coming, even before Odin's revelations. It was ironic, too, and slightly disappointing that they would take on the Frost Giants without Thor. Loki knew well how much his brother enjoyed killing Frost Giants. So much more for irony.

"I love you too," he assured her, one of his hands coming to rest on one of hers. The moment was somewhat interrupted by a knock at the door.

"My lord, my lady," a servant said through the door, "news from Midgard. The Frost Giants invade New York as we speak."

"I see. Thank you." Loki gave Sigyn a dark smile. "It seems Laufey is ready for us, my love."

[Sigyn Laufeyson]

Old habits indeed died hard. Sigyn was quite used to watching him go into battle without her. Even though she was always relieved when he returned home safely, after having said goodbye to him countless times and just like that, welcomed him home, the fear of losing him in battle had almost vanished. There was always a risk, of course. But apart from that bad incident thousands of years ago, when Loki had gotten so severely injured, he mostly returned home well.

This time, it'd be the two of them, fighting side by side. Would there be time for a kiss on the battlefield? Would it be wise to put their love out there, making themselves vulnerable? But then again, Loki and Sigyn were not a secret.
"I will, my love," she said, pursing her lips as a silent, mocked admonition for his teasing.
Sigyn leaned in then, wanting to put a kiss on his lips, but a knock on the door interrupted them. So the time to depart had arrived. Sigyn met Loki's gaze and nodded. There was a smile on her face, but it wasn't entirely carefree. She had yet to find out how much she'd enjoy real battle. Moreover, it was the two of them against an army of Frost Giants. Well, their united magic would have to do this time. And it would.
A wave of magic washed over Sigyn's body, starting at her feet, ending at her top. It gradually changed her attire. The dress was gone. She was now clad in armor and pants, her hair tied up and her spear at her side. Sigyn nodded. "It seems like we are ready for Laufey.", she retorted.

And off they went into battle with Laufey. Even if at his very innermost, it might be a battle of Loki against himself.