Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 21, 2012 5:30:53 GMT -7
Sigyn was closing the drawer, magically locking it. She was not particularly scared her servants would steal from her - after all only Greta entered her dressing chamber most of the times -, but she just wanted to make sure no one would steal her jewellery. There was still a lot to do. The servants helped with most things, but Loki's and her little magic chamber in particular was nothing she'd want help with. Right now, it was nothing, but utter chaos. Yet, she had to wait until her husband could make time to go through it. As usual, the princess - former Queen - accepted help, but was not the kind of person lying back, letting staff do all the work. She needed to know where all the stuff went.
Their new castle was magnificent. Sigyn appreciated the increas in privacy it provided, especially now that the boys were back. Everybody had bought their story, about the curse, about the effects of lifting the curse. And while people still stared in wonder and some, in fear, the reactions had mostly been positive. Odin had given a public announcement, the realm had celebrated and things went okay. That did not stop Sigyn from being very on guard, very attentive around her boys. It'd only take Narvi a sneeze, Vali a cough, and the hair on her neck would stand up straight. Vali had been very helpful with moving, carrying stuff, being quite a good boy. He thought he'd have to support his mother, because she was a girl and he a man, so he'd have to do the carrying, if need be. Narvi had been quite cranky today, but it seemed to be nothing more but a mood.
The last weeks had not exactly given Loki and Sigyn much chance to talk about things...or rather, see whether they had to talk about things. The curse, the boys, moving, Thor's supervision, it had taken all of their time. Sigyn was watching Loki closely, see whether she could find any evidence that killing his biological father had changed something. It was hard to read him, though. Just like her, the Prince was overwhelmed with their boys' presence.
Hearing the door to their new master bedroom open and close, Sigyn emerged from her dressing chamber. "Loki?", she asked.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 21, 2012 20:33:38 GMT -7
Relatively speaking, only a very little time had passed since the events on Midgard, but Loki had already begun to grow bored of his surroundings. Being on "house arrest" - a disgusting appropriation of a mortal term, Loki felt - had forced Loki to spend more time than necessary in the same place. Though the presence of his wife and sons helped, he had quickly become quite stir-crazy. A change in scenery was most desperately needed.
He had been planning this move for a very long time, but had never gotten around to it until now. What better time was there? When Odin and Thor stepped in to challenge the idea, Loki simply pointed out that the terms of his punishment dictated that he remain indoors and under watch at all times, but not where he must remain. So he and his family packed up their belongings and left, though not without the careful eye of the royal guard still upon them.
Loki had overseen the move, and even participated when it came time to move certain items such as those within his library. Not everything was meant to be shared with his staff. Soon the move was completed, and Loki found himself master of his own castle. It was a welcome change. Though he might not be rid of his punishment yet, at least he finally had his own domain. There would be no more impromptu chastising from his parents, no more fear of interruptions from Thor. It was truly freeing.
The castle was sizable, not as large as the palace, but close enough, with more rooms than Loki and Sigyn would ever need. Moreover, it was decorated to their tastes, and was built to handle the playfulness of two young boys. They kept on their own servants, mostly. Much was the same, but enough was different that it gave Loki something to occupy his mind, when he was not working on fresh plots or brooding on the past.
Whether anything had changed in Loki after Midgard would have been difficult for even him to tell, if he had bothered to check. He had been preoccupied. Much had occurred in a small space of time. Thor's punishment could not have come at a better time, actually, as he now had an excuse to spend more time with his sons. Of everyone involved in the sentencing, the one who had wound up benefiting most from it was Loki himself.
Everything was in place, to his liking. He made his way through the castle to the master bedroom. Hearing Sigyn call his name, he moved toward her, and wrapped an arm around her as he led her to the balcony. The castle had been built such that this balcony overlooked much of the land that belonged to them, and gave a pleasant view of the city as well. He did not speak as he led her there, or for the first few moments as he surveyed the scene, still holding her close.
"This is our domain," he said, not yet looking at her. "Here you are Queen." She had been Queen, and he King, for a short but glorious time while Odin had slept and Thor had served his banishment. Odin ruled again now, having awakened from his slumber, and Thor would one day inherit the throne, as had always been planned. The thought irritated Loki to no end. What kind of king would Thor be? Certainly not one befitting any proper society. His "brother" cared for nothing but glory, thirsted for battle. There was no wisdom in such a rule, and Loki had hoped he would get someone else to see that.
Alas, he had not. And he had lost the throne that had suited him so well. He would make a kingdom for himself, though, and Sigyn would once again rule at his side. Even if he had to claim all of Asgard to do it.
Now he turned to her, lifted her chin with his finger so he could gaze into her eyes. "We have earned this," he told her. She would understand what he meant. The curse, Midgard, all their centuries of pain and trouble. They had been happy at times, of course, but it was the pain that Loki felt in this moment, had been feeling for some time at the forefront of his mind. Ever since Midgard, at least….
"We should rest," he suggested, now giving her the shadow of a smile. "This has been an eventful day."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 22, 2012 9:47:20 GMT -7
Loki met her in the middle of the room, put an arm around her and led her to the balcony. Was he gloomy? Was he occupied with peculiar thoughts? Maybe, he was just exhausted. Sigyn didn't know. For sure, she was worn out. A good night of sleep would do her good. Outside, he held her close as his gaze went over the scenery. Loki started to muse. Sigyn inhaled. Loki was still driven, still infected by this dream of his, to rule, to be king. And while she would support him if he chose to pursue it, she just didn't want to hear about it now. He was still under arrest, they were still in Hela's debt. There were countless other things that were more important than his rulership. But Loki had gone through enough lately, so Sigyn did not put up a fight just now. "I don't need to be queen of any domain, my love," she calmly said instead, leaning against him. Being with her husband and children, having an adventure every now and then, improving her magic, that would make her happy.
Eventually, Loki turned and lifted her chin. So close, so close to his face, his lips. So close to the comfort he could provide. Not now, though. She had to provide some comfort. He seemed to be the troubled one with this arrest and maybe, with something else. Or Sigyn was thoroughly mistaken. "Indeed, we have. Why we did not do this sooner, I do not know.", she admitted. They could have gotten their very own place way earlier than this. Yet, they had not. It felt good to have a little distance to court.
Sigyn might as well just sit down on the balcony, with him, and enjoy the view. The last days had been ridiculously hot. The cool breeze the evenings brought were rather lovely. "Have you eaten yet, love?", she asked. Sigyn had not had time to have a proper dinner, she had been too busy with putting her belongings away. Yet, she did not feel like having a formal meal. She'd just gather some snacks and for the love of Odin, eat in bed and relax.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 22, 2012 20:54:07 GMT -7
For some time since the events in Midgard, Loki had felt Sigyn did not share his dream of ruling again. That was fine, as long as she was not utterly against it. Nothing and no one would stop him from achieving this dream, even if the had to burn the other Realms to reach it.
"Perhaps not," he answered, "but you will be. I swear it." He would be a king again, and she his queen. Their boys, true princes. This was his new dream. He'd gotten a taste of rulership - something he had never wanted - and actually liked it. There was no way he could back down from his plans now.
He gave a small nod in agreement as she wondered why they had not moved out sooner. It was so refreshing to be away, to have a space to call their own. The eyes of his punishers remained upon him, but that would fade as well, in time. Leaving Loki to do as he wished, to make preparations for his next move.
"I took a piece of bread as the boys ate earlier. I am not hungry, dearest." For some time, he had not felt very hungry. He could not recall when it had started. Recently, however, he had found himself with a lack of appetite and no real need to eat. He was not worried about it; this was just another something that would pass. Perhaps all he needed was the relief of being in his own home.
Turning away from the view, he left the balcony to have a seat on the edge of their bed. He was quite tired, in the best and worst of ways. This day had been a productive one, but the recent pressures he and Sigyn had faced still weighed on him. "But if you are hungry, we should certainly send for something to eat," he added idly, tapping the spot next to him so that she might join him.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 23, 2012 7:27:08 GMT -7
This was not a madman speaking. This was Loki as he lived and breathed. He had always been that way. His goals had changed, maybe. Perhaps, the intensity of his thoughts had increased. But this was nothing that surprised Sigyn. She'd be with him every step of the way, but there was one thing he needed to know. If he didn't, already. Patting his stomach, Sigyn leaned into him. "Just remember that you do not have to do anything to prove yourself to me," she said. King or not, warrior or not, sorcerer or not. Sigyn loved him. He was the father of her children, her husband. He did not care about his title.
They retreated to the inside. Sigyn was fanning herself with her hand, somehow, she could not get rid of the day's heat. It lingered on her skin. She took his hand, lifted it so she'd have enough space to sit on his leg. Her arm was quickly draped around his shoulders, playing with his hair. She put a kiss on his cheek, his ear and jawline. "I'll do it in a minute." Loki had not been a good eater lately. Being a mother, Sigyn had come to automatically observe problems like this. She was watching subtly, for any signs of weight loss or unwell-being. She was not at a point to call him out on his diet yet, but she would if it was necessary. So far, there were enough ways to try and make him eat.
Absent-mindedly gazing at the long, raven strands of his hair, she slightly tugged at it, "Your hair has gotten so long, my love," Sigyn said without judgement. Her lips curled into a tiny smile then. "A lot to hold on to when we induct this bed." She did not sound particularly seductive, rather calm. Both of them were exhausted from the heat and moving. Yet, they were still a married couple, were they not? Sigyn leaned back eventually, put a kiss on his forehead. "I will take care of the food, I will be right back."
And she was back just a few moments later, having sent for a maid to gather some snacks. Once more fanning herself, Sigyn returned to their new bed, sitting down right in the middle of it. "This feels as though it has twice the size of our old bed."
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 23, 2012 11:46:50 GMT -7
Perhaps Loki did not have to prove anything to Sigyn. In fact, he was sure he did not. They had known each other seemingly forever, and each knew the other better than themselves. But he did have something to prove, not to her, but to everyone else. To his father, his brother, the people he had temporarily ruled. And, though he would never admit to it, he had something to prove to himself.
The balcony had a beautiful view of the palace, cast in a reddish glow whenever the sun set. He did not need to see it now, however. He went inside and sat down, and Sigyn joined him shortly. He closed his eyes as she kissed him. Often she had a calming effect on him, and this time she managed to slow his racing thoughts. The slight tension in his body faded, and he relaxed.
He had been letting his hair grow out, for no other reason than general neglect of it. It had never grown so long as it was now. He gave Sigyn a small grin as she suggested a use for it. With any luck, that would be put to the test this night. He was seldom so tired as to not have enough energy for making love to her, as odd and illogical as it may seem.
Again his mind drifted as she left for the moment, to arrange for a bit of food. By the time she returned, he was lying down on the bed, his long legs dangling off the edge, his gaze directed up at the ceiling until she returned. Then he looked at her as she sat in the middle of the bed. "It should," he said in reference to the size of the bed. A master of a castle should have a grand bed, larger than one who simply resided in one wing of it.
He reached for her hand, a bit of an awkward thing, and smiled up at her, his gaze suggesting that he was about to reveal something that had been on his mind. "I have not had the chance to tell you. I am proud of the way you fought in Midgard." He had helped train her, of course, but much of it had been her natural talent. They had fought separately and together, and through it all she had turned out to be every bit as good as he had suspected she would be.
Whether there would be another occasion for them to fight together, he was not yet certain. Perhaps the return of the boys would lead to Sigyn not wishing to fight again. Time would tell. She would always be included in his plans in some form, but seldom would he ask her to do something he knew she wished not to do.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 23, 2012 14:51:04 GMT -7
Sigyn was as exhausted as he was. No expectations, no duties, naturally. They'd share a lot of nights in this castle, in this bed. Time would give them more strength and the right mind to make love as they used to do. Or maybe, they'd do it tonight either way.
Sigyn took his hand instantly, when he reached for hers. She wrapped her fingers around his, moved her thumb over the skin on his knuckles. His hands were very delicate, long, slender fingers, skin not as rough as Thor's. She loved his hands, they were beautiful, as ridiculous as such an opinion about something so unimportant may seem. Fanning herself with her free hand, she cupped his cheek with hers, his hand still covering it. He was proud. She liked that. Sigyn would never grow tired of hearing things like this. Loki was the better fighter, the better sorcerer, she'd never doubt it. A compliment from him meant something to her. As much as he loved her, he'd not shy away from telling her off or pointing things she could've done better out. Of course, she had returned to Asgard with the one or other scratch. But Sigyn had stood her ground. "Thank you, my love," she said quietly. Would she fight again? The warrior in her craved for battle. Not as vehemently as the warrior that was Loki's brother. Sigyn still had the right mind, reason and logic to know when a fight was due and when it'd be wiser to avoid it. But she loved it. Physically reaching her boundaries was an amazing feeling, so you'd learn what to do better next time. But things had changed. Narvi and Vali were back. Being selfish was erased by responsibility. It was not so much that Sigyn would not want to support Loki in battle, whatever the cause. But if both of them - Odin forbid - died at the same time, her sons would become orphans. Still princes, still under Odin's guard, but...orphans. Loki knew how protective she was about them. "I loved to share it with you. Knowing that we work well together in extraordinary situations, under dire circumstances. It makes me feel close to you.", Sigyn said. Looking at him, how he was lying there.....she couldn't help but worry. Somehow, something was odd. Or she was imagining it.
Sigyn lifted his hand to her face, not making it touch her skin. She was still quite hot. After having placed a kiss on his knuckles, she met his gaze. "Can you turn it colder? Please?", she asked, looking at his hand again. She knew, this was dangerous territory. But it was very warm and he happened to be a Frost Giant. Moreover, this might make a smooth introduction to a very un-smooth topic.
Laufey.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 24, 2012 15:40:03 GMT -7
A small sigh escaped Loki's lips as Sigyn caressed his hands.Her touch was soothing, more so than anything else was. She spoke well of their time fighting together, her thoughts reflecting his own. They had been able to think quickly and understand each other well on the battlefield, and she had put her lessons to excellent use. She had not come away completely unscathed, but to be completely unharmed in a fight meant one had not been fighting hard enough, in Loki's opinion.
"And I to you," he answered, giving her a brief smile. They were meant for each other in every way, he was certain. The two of them simply fit together too well. And he had done the impossible and fallen in love. The feeling was more incredible than any words he knew could describe.
He tilted his head back to look up at her. Her request was entirely innocent, of course. She was hot, and he had the ability to make it cooler. Asking him to do so only made sense. Yet he could not ignore the strange feeling that came over him. His Jotunn heritage was not something he was proud of. Mentioning it only revived the conflicted feelings he had previously managed to ignore.
He sat up and moved closer to her, and wrapped an arm around her. A bit of cold began to emanate from his body - not so much as to make it freezing in the room, but enough that there was a nice coolness on the air. His skin took on a slight blue tint.
Once the space around them was cool enough, he leaned back against the pillows, nestling his face in the crook of his elbow. His skin felt a little cold even to himself. Was he upset? Not with Sigyn, for she could not have known what her request had truly meant. He had never explained to her how truly embarrassed he was to be a Frost Giant. Neither was this the sort of feeling he would outgrow in time. Those creatures were uncouth, dumb and disgusting. The fact that he was born one of them… was not something he chose to remember.
Yet it was also a fact he could not forget.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 24, 2012 15:58:55 GMT -7
The fact that he was yet unconfident about his heritage, scared and possibly ashamed of it was the exact reason why Sigyn called him out on it in this way. It was insanely hot, she was sweating, exhausted and he could ease her discomfort. By being who he was: Part-Jotun. She had formerly explained to him that she did not care what or who he was. She was in love with him and nothing could change that. She had had his sons and she'd have his sons all over again knowing that they'd be part frost giants. Sigyn loved Loki. Period. And if he happened to be able to cool her down on a hot day, even better.
She nestled up against him, sighing as the air around her turned colder. Sigyn even moaned, this lower temperature was a blessing and it radiated right off her husband. "You cannot possibly imagine how good this feels," she moaned, leaning fully against him. Besides the obvious advantages, she also thought he was quite beautiful in his Jotun form. Red eyes, blue skin. It had a certain appeal. He did not look entirely Jotun, yet he did not look entirely Asgardian, either. Loki was different and that had alway struck Sigyn's fancy. "I'm very much in love with you, my prince." Sigyn smiled, bracing her body on her elbow, having an elevated position as Loki was lying in the bed like he was. Sigyn put her hand on his head, gently stroked his hair behind his ear. "Loki,", she started as calmly as she could, "Talk to me. What is going on in that beautiful mind and heart of yours?" Of course, she could have been more specific, yet she did not want to be. He should have the freedom of answering as he pleased. And if he tried to fool her by telling her off, she would get back at him. Sigyn didn't need any protection. She wanted him happy. Or as close to happy as he could be. Him, Vali and Narvi. Because they were her family and she'd rather die than neglect their well-being.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 24, 2012 20:03:03 GMT -7
Though Loki did not look at Sigyn as she leaned against him, he did reach for her, his hand landing softly at her waist. That hand inched around until it was on her stomach, his arm around her. Finally he raised his head and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. "I am glad to hear it, my love, my princess," he said, though he was unsure whether she was speaking generally, or of his ability to make things colder. He decided that it did not matter.
He had seen himself in Jotun form before, and did not like it at all. It was entirely unnatural. Even with the red eyes and blue, ridged skin, his body did not have the grace to be built as a proper giant, but was, to him, gaunt and ungainly. Moreover, whatever magic Odin had used to give him an Aesir's appearance never quite faded, leaving him with a full head of hair, while Frost Giants were usually bald. It made him miserable to realize that this was partly what he looked like to Sigyn at this moment. He did not see the same beauty she saw in that form.
Closing his eyes, he let her touch comfort him again, but could not help frowning slightly at her question. "Nothing," he said reflexively, before immediately realized that she would never believe he was thinking about nothing. She knew him far too well to fall for that. Quickly he corrected himself. "Nothing of import. I am considering small matters." He was lying; to offset the lie, he changed the subject, notably away from himself.
"What would you like to do tomorrow? I am inclined to remain at home after all the effort we have put into moving lately, but, as always, I am open to your suggestions." His voice had a hint of tease to it, partly because he already knew Sigyn was not going to let him off that easily. He had not been speaking much and had barely been eating; clearly there was something on his mind, and she must have seen that already.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 25, 2012 4:26:44 GMT -7
Well, he had tried, had he not? Of course, Sigyn did not buy his lie. Loki could to better, for he was the God of Mischief, yet he struggled lying to her. Sigyn liked that. She would not dare to assume she could read him like an open book, but it was fairly close. Even his distraction did not do him any good. Sigyn still had picked up on something and she would not let go that easily.
Propping herself on her elbow, she looked at her husband. "And how small are these matters, for you have barely eaten or spoken lately," she gently said, moving her hand over his cheek. Sigyn raised her brow. He could tell from the expression on her face that she did not buy his story, not at all. "And no, I am not going to let go just like that," Sigyn added. She never had. Even after all this time, Loki still needed a push into the right direction every now and then. He had learned he was in fact Jotun. He had killed his birthfather then, his boys had returned, his soul had been sold and he was under house arrest. Sigyn would not even have to look at him to fear he was troubled. And if he was, then so was she.
A knock on the door interrupted their moment. "Come in," Sigyn said out loudly, getting up. She took the tray from the maid, her stomach crying out upon seeing the food. "You're dismissed for the night. Thank you," Sigyn sent the maid away. The bed was large enough for the tray to fit. So Sigyn sat down, close to Loki, but not next to him, her legs crossed. Helping herself to some grapes, she looked at him. "Speak to me, Loki. What is it that troubles you?" If she had to sit like this all night to get him to talk, she would.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 25, 2012 21:08:42 GMT -7
The fact that Sigyn did not fall for his lie did not surprise Loki at all. It was not a case of him not being able to lie, in his own view; it was simply a matter of her knowing him well enough to care enough to see through him. Besides, he had not tired very hard to hide his condition from her. He knew he would have noticed his lack of eating, his relative silence. He would have been more surprised if she had not noticed and pointed it out.
A servant arrived with the food then, giving Loki time to gather his thoughts in some way he could share with Sigyn. By the time she returned with the tray of snacks, he had only made a bit of progress. Fighting the natural numbness, the inclination to avoid, was difficult, and facing his thoughts directly took work. It was not something he was used to.
"Nothing troubles me," he said, to himself as much as to her. "Should it?" All the harm he had done, should it not trouble him, as it would any other being? Yet he felt nothing save annoyance at his punishment… and, when he had killed Laufey, he might have felt… satisfaction.
"I feel no remorse… nothing. Is that what makes me a monster? Or is that the monster in me?" He set the tray of food aside so he could pull her onto him, so she rested on his chest. Then he lifted a finger and drew it down her lips. "Or does it matter at all? As it seems you would have me regardless of what I am, perhaps it does not." He opened his hand to reveal a bunch of grapes, from which he picked one and held it against her lips for her to take. "You are what matters. You and our sons."
He frowned as a thought crossed his mind. "One day, they will learn their heritage. Perhaps they will… think me a monster." Asgardian society certainly taught its children that Frost Giants were to be hated; for Vali and Narvi to learn that they were half giant… Loki would not blame them for turning away from him. It would wound him more deeply than nearly anything else could, but… he would have to take it. For they were his sons, and he would do what he needed to for their sake.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 26, 2012 8:49:09 GMT -7
Sigyn felt like pouting for the blink of an eye, had she just sat down properly in order to eat and still her rumbling stomach. Alas, lying down on her husband like this, cuddling against him made up for her lack of sustenance for now. He was just about to feed her anyway, Sigyn just did not know it yet.
She listened to him, not yet reacting at all. She needed to hear what he wanted to express. Sigyn felt a tight ribbon of heartach tighten around her heart as he spoke of himself like this. It hurt to know that someone you held so dear, someone you loved with no condition, that was beautiful to you, talk about himself so lowly. Ever since having learned about Laufey - and even before - Loki had been very inclined to create various equations that ended up with him being a monster. It seemed like everything that contributed to this assumption was welcome, effective immediately, yet everything that he thought to speak against it, was ridiculous and now worth considering.
Sigyn took a breath, picking the grape with her teeth. She took her time to chew and swallow, so she could speak properly. As she put her hand on his side and moved it slightly, she finally spoke. "It is not the lack of remorse in this matter that makes you a monster. Nothing does. You are capable of remorse. You are capable of a guilty conscience. Empathy. Love. Affection. You just have different standards, morals than most people. Is this what makes you question yourself? Being different? You are so keen on fitting in, yet at the same time you want to make a difference. You compare yourself to the wrong people my love. Look around you. You might be surrounded with foes, competition. But here, in this house, you are surrounded with nothing, but love and admiration. And you will be. Frost Giants are not called monsters in Asgard, because of their nature, but for the deeds and crimes they committed. It is your actions defining you. You raise your sons with a love and understanding that has no equal. I told you on the last anniversary of......I told you what an amazing father you are. And my opinion stands. You are in them, Loki. Nothing you do, noting you are will make them love you less. It is ours to raise our sons with empathy and understanding and make them rightous people." Sigyn sat up then, her arms left and right of his ripcage, hair falling to her front. She locked their gazes and put a soft kiss on his thin lips. "The only person considering yourself a monster is you, my love. All I want is to make you feel that you are not, but I do not know how to do that. Not anymore."
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Aug 26, 2012 21:07:27 GMT -7
As Sigyn spoke, Loki idly reached for a bunch of grapes to feed to her; a distracted move, as he was listening closely to her words. This had been a point of contention between them for some time, and he had learned to simply agree to disagree. Was he capable of such things as she said? Towards her and their sons, of course, but they were the exceptions. His normal disposition - the way he had been so long ago, before falling in love with her - had never been capable of affection and empathy and love. At least, not as he remembered it.
And why should he have? He had always been treated differently, like an outcast, long before learning of his true heritage. Comparing himself to others was a habit. Considering himself surrounded by foes was natural, for he had been for so long. Only now, with this new castle of theirs, was he free from tyranny - for it was his own family who opposed him much of the time.
He winced slightly as she narrowly avoided mentioning Narvi's death. That last anniversary had been a difficult experience for them both. It was a wound that had only just healed, and should not be disturbed for fear of breaking it again. Yet now that they had Narvi and Vali back, those anniversaries should no longer matter. Or would they carry with them the same pain as they always had?
Reaching up, he swept the hair out of her face as it fell out of place, and returned her kiss gently before offering her more grapes from the palm of his hand. "If the rest of the realm knew of my parentage, would they not consider me tainted? Would they not look upon me and say to each other, 'Oh, that explains why he has been this way all this time'? They do not view me as you do, my love, and I cannot let myself forget that."
He could not forget it, lest they use it against him, he thought. "It is not a terrible feeling, darling. I think I've grown rather accustomed to it." He gave her a faint smile to show that he was partly teasing. "Do not worry about me. These feelings come and go. They never linger. In a few minutes, I will be your Loki again."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Aug 27, 2012 1:02:32 GMT -7
"I do not know," Sigyn said in a whisper. And she did not. How would Asgard react? It possibly depended on the way this matter would be dealt with, how Odin spoke, if it were Odin revealing the news at all. She honestly had no idea. But they had spent thousands of years together and all the while, Sigyn had given him all of her love. So had the boys. They had fought, yes. They had hurt the other, in small ways, but they had always loved the other. Why did that make him better than he was right now?
Sigyn was eating the one or other grape as she listened. She lifted her finger in order to catch a bead of juice from falling from her lip. Licking her fingertip, she sighed. "Will you be, Loki? Because you have not been for a while," Sigyn said. She had not wanted to sound harsh, yet she had. She did not mean to put him under some kind of pressure or make him feel worse. It was concern for him driving her. She put her hand to his chest, trying to make amends for her harsh tone. "You have barely eaten lately, my love. You're quiet. I cannot help but wonder whether there is more but this same old matter that haunts you. I worry for you." She bent down, put a kiss on his forehead. "Is it because of Laufey's death?", she added carefully. Maybe, this had stricken him more than he was giving himself credit for, one way or the other.
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