Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 12:11:17 GMT -7
Was she the same as she had been last night? This morning? Wasn't a person changing always? Had she not suffered enough? Hadn't they? Sigyn detached herself from him, clenched her fist next to her body and started to pace. Her face lay in a mask of pain, but her teeth were still pressed harshly onto the other. She looked as if she was about to break down from her sorrow and rise up from her anger at the same time. The one moment, her brows were furrowed, the next they reached deep into her face, giving her the most menacing look her beautiful features were capable of. "I can't...I cannot let this go. This is beyond me. I have no control over this. It is like my heart is controling everything. And it wants her dead.", she explained. Knowing Loki was right about Odin, she despaired even more. If she went after her mother, she would not go undetected. So much was for sure. So what options did that leave her? Being incarcerated for a long while? Did Odin care so little about her, as his daughter in law? Did he care so little about Loki? What was he going to tell Narvi and Vali once they were grown up and warriors themselves? That their grandfather had chickened out from going all the way, motivated by some ridiculous case of mercy or nobility? No. But as far as Sigyn was concerned right now, Odin would not lay eyes on his grandchildren again. Ever.
Coming to a short halt in front of him, she received his kiss. But Sigyn was restless and started to pace again. She was thousands of years old. She had thought she'd know herself well enough to be sure what kind of emotions to expect from herself. Yet this was so much beyond her, that she was scared of herself. No control, just impulse. Sigyn felt like her skin was on fire.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 13:10:13 GMT -7
There were so many conflicting emotions in her eyes and her composure that Loki was not sure which to address first. Above all, he knew he had to stop her from killing Freia… unless she was absolutely sure she wanted to do it. Absolutely, securely certain. This was nothing to decide on when she was full of feelings that were influencing her ability to make decisions.
"I do not ask you to let it go," he told her, love and caution in his tone, "only to think carefully before you do this. There are other routes we can take. We should sit and plan this out, when we are not so overtaken by anger. When our minds are clear."
He took her arms and held them gently. Now they would air their thoughts, share with each other what they felt about the whole farce. Perhaps they would find their sons and play with them. Later, they would sleep, and their minds would be clear in the morning. That was how much time Loki thought it would take, if not longer.
"We have plenty of time to act. I know how to reach the Isle of Silence. After we are calmer and have decided what to do, we can always find her there." He paused to study her expression, her eyes. "I am angry, my love. But I am also tired, of the games Odin chooses to play. We will never accomplish anything if we do not play along, even for a bit."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 13:21:02 GMT -7
Sigyn did not tear away from him this time, but her gaze was not as soft as it usually was when he was in her focus. "What, Loki? What do you think we can do? We can do absolutely nothing. The Allfather has spoken," Sigyn said with disgust and ridicule in her voice. "No matter how sneaky we are, no matter how wicked our plan will be, if she dies, he will know it was us. He will know it and act on it. There is no way we can kill her without having to face any kind of consequence," Sigyn argued, starting to become louder and more agitated by the minute. She rubbed her own chest with her hand, trying to calm herself down, but it was a futile mission.
Maybe, she should not have proclaimed the death wish she had for her mother that vehemently in front of Odin. Now, he was supsicious. But honestly, had he thought she did not want her dead? Had he thought Sigyn, who had spent millenia mourning her boys, had not made this decision in a clear mind prior to the hearing. No.
"See, this is where we are at, there is no way in the Nine Realms to make her face her destined fate, unless,.." Sigyn cried. And then, she suddenly grew very silent. Very. Holding his gaze, she exhaled. Some kind of dark confidence was surrounding her suddenly. "Unless Odin will not be the one making the decisions anymore." Through all the years, she had supported Loki, almost blindly. Never had she tried to encourage his plans of throwing his father over. Right now....it seemed to be changing. It was Odin's own fault.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 14:02:49 GMT -7
So far, Loki had not had time to sit and think about the possibilities. So when Sigyn asked him what he thought they could do, he did not answer. Had not she been the one talking about killing the woman before? He was right, of course, about not being able to get to her, unless they found some loophole in the spell or something of that nature.
Or, unless they got to her somewhere between Asgard and the Isle of Silence. In that case, time was running out quickly. Especially if Odin chose the short way and sent her there by magic, as he usually did with banishments.
But he stopped wondering about the plan when he saw something change in her gaze. The look was a familiar one. He had seen it in his own eyes from time to time. He knew it before she spoke. She wanted Odin gone, in some way. Perhaps his death, perhaps something else. This time it was Loki's turn to step away from her. He ran a hand through his hair and swore under his breath. Loki never swore.
"It's impossible," he finally said bluntly, turning back to look at her. "It can't be done. That is why I have always made my plans around his Odinlseep." Odin was a strong ruler, a powerful warrior as well as sorcerer. Loki was not altogether certain he had the power to take him down. Even if he did, Loki's intent was to rule Asgard; the Asgardians would never follow someone who had betrayed their original king.
But what Sigyn wanted was different. She wanted only to kill her mother. Maybe there was a way to overturn his ruling, or to make him look a fool….
"We will find some other way. Odin himself is untouchable." Yet it would be obvious that Loki did not entirely believe his own words, and his actions in the past had also certainly spoken against that. He was speaking blindly, saying anything to keep Sigyn from making a decision that would get her into trouble.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 14:15:22 GMT -7
"Is he, now? Is there proof?", Sigyn said, almost spitefully snickering. Odin was probably the most powerful being she knew. But that did not mean he was untouchable. Something was going on inside of her that scared her. But that tiny voice of caution, that tiny voice that was truly Sigyn was muted by her anger. Or maybe, this was the true Sigyn.
"The thought of living in the shadow of his palace, of raising the boys in the shadow of the oh so great Odin, who had the mercy to sent their murderess to exile, instead of doing what was necessary, sickens me. This realm sickens me. Have you seen all those people today, cheering, fearing, holding their breaths, yet keeping their heads down? Cattle. All of them. Not more. And Frigga? Had she not struggled as we had when the boys died. Had she not cried at their services? How could she have let Odin go through with it? How could Thor have? Or maybe, they all collectively disagreed, but neither had the courage or the backbone to raise his voice? Ugh," Sigyn complained, balling her fists yet again. She marched up to Loki, leaning in. Once more, misery found its way into her face. Misery and the total lack of understanding. She pointed her hand towards the door.
"Our children are playing soundly in their rooms as we speak," she cried, her voice tumbling, "They were dead. Dead, cursed by their own flesh and blood. They did not just hit the ground, with no life left in them. They lay in their beds, covered in sweat, in fevers that made their bodies weary, their limbs heavy, their mouth dry but their muscles too weak to cough. They had cramps, got sick. They were as pale as the moon. Don't you remember how bitterly Narvi cried? For hours? He had probably known what had been coming for him. And then, he had coughed blood. So had Vali," Sigyn recollected. The memory sent the tears right into her eyes and voice, but she continued to argue, "Does he not remember? For he had sat by their bedsides. If I imagine either one of our sons would make me a grandmother and Hel forbid, something horrible would happen to that child, I,-" her voice finally broke. Sigyn wrapped her arms around her body, dropped her head. "I know I'm not thinking straight. But this won't fade. I want her dead. This is the only way to maintain our sons honor. For if what has been done to them is not avenged properly, it will haunt them."
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 14:56:35 GMT -7
With every ounce of strength he had, Loki stood, listened to Sigyn's thoughts and accusations and memories. He remembered the boys' deaths well. Those were two memories that had never faded with time. He did not need to be reminded of the horrors the boys had faced, or the pain he and Sigyn had felt. But the way Sigyn spoke to him, especially regarding his assertion that Odin was untouchable, left him feeling quite ill.
He was entirely silent as she spoke, and even after she finished, he only looked at her for a time, trying to sort out how to respond. He had never known her to be this selfish. It was almost as though they had switched roles, with Sigyn formulating the bad plan and Loki trying to convince her out of it but going along with it anyway.
"So, then," he began slowly, "you would ask me to help you kill her, then flee to Vanaheim, where we may or may not be welcome; or you would have us kill Odin, and then kill your mother, and presumably flee again, for there would be no place for us here after that. You would ask me to give up my status as prince, the life I have made here, this castle, and all I have achieved over my lifetime, so that you may have your revenge. For the honor of our sons, who are not yet old enough to understand what honor is."
He scowled. "Honor is what my dim-witted brother fights for. Honor is entering a battle for no good reason other than one's own amusement, but it is not seemly to call it that. Honor is being reckless for the sake of being remembered for a few seasons after you are dead!" He grimaced and clenched his fists. "I am sick unto death of talk of honor. Let us talk about sense! We have no way of knowing that the Vanir rulers will side with us. In fact, if they are as politically minded as I recall, they will side with Odin to keep the peace. We will end up living the rest of our lives in hiding in some Midgardian hovel. Is that what you want for our sons? Is it?
"Yes, they died horrible deaths. I remember. We have had that conversation before. But they are back, and we have a life with them we could barely have dreamed of. If we throw it away killing Freia, even if we succeed, she will have won. We will have destroyed ourselves. Is not that exactly what she wanted? For you no longer to be a princess, to be nothing? I know the thought does not trouble you, but it troubles me. We have power, right now. If we play along, they will eventually learn to trust us again and then, I guarantee, you will find your chance to kill her."
Taking a deep breath, he looked at her, knowing she would not be happy with his words. "You have only to wait. To wait, and to think."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 15:12:08 GMT -7
Waiting for his response, Sigyn lifted her head again, looked at Loki who seemed to be calmer all of a sudden. When he spoke, he took his time, but he had laid out the words perfectly. He was a master of words, after all.
What he put down then, left her absolutely speechless and irritated. Sigyn's eyes widened, her mouth fell open as he talked about her plan. Had she not been the one supporting him throughout the millenia? Had she not been the one at his side, going through every wicked plan of his, no matter how ill fated it had been? She had even moved to an Astral Plane, because Loki had thought it to be a good idea, which had essentially resulted in Sigyn almost getting severely hurt. And that had not been the first time she had put herself in danger.
And now, he was talking about reason? Sense? Sigyn narrowed her eyes. "You of all people talk to me about reason? About sense? Why do we not start to talk about pride for a change? Or recognition? Traits as dangerous as your idea of honor. Living, striving, laying everything out only to be respected, acknowledged, cherished and even feared, no matter the cost. So you are sick of talking about honor, Loki? It is too bad that everything does not revolve around you. Honor is not what you think of it, it is what Asgard has made of it. Honor here is slicing a throat with a sword forged in Asgard. No, that is not what I am talking about. For millenia, I have been with you every step of the way. Your way, most of the times. And now you,-" she started to argue, lifting her hand, waving it in order to support her words. "And do not -dare- to use that tone on me again." He had talked to her as though she was some peasant that he outsmarted easily and moreover, that he wanted to realize that he was exceeding his intelligence by far. Sigyn did not take to that lightly. She reacted very sensitively to being talked down to, to his condescending side. Sometimes when they fought, he used it on her. It made her unbelievably furious but he knew that and had possibly used this as a tool. Sigyn stopped to talk, paced over to the window to look outside, get that stuck breath out of her throat and gather herself.
On the other hand however, Sigyn knew Loki was right. If they acted now, things would not turn out too well, Odin was alerted already. If they waited, patiently lingered, they might get their chance. Sigyn had learned patience almost from scratch, especially with her children. However, executing patience with this matter seemed the impossible thing to do.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 11, 2012 22:01:58 GMT -7
At first her words cut deep, as she spoke of his need for recognition and acknowledgment. Loki knew she was right. He had done nothing but try to win the respect of others all his life, and, in his eyes, never succeeded. Sigyn had helped him every time he needed it, and even when he didn't. He had grown used to her being there, by his side. Now she needed him instead, and he was hesitant, at best.
He had not intended to talk down to her, not truly; it was something that just seemed to happen with him. So when she told him to watch his tone, he simply folded his arms. He did not follow her to the window, but remained where he stood.
"I never asked you to stand by me. You made that choice. You could have been like any other wife, and remained behind as I did as I needed. You could have left, many times. You did not. You are what is keeping you here, so do not complain about how we do things 'my way' when I tell you that your plan is foolish. Do not turn this argument on me."
He was not quite angry yet, though he was close. He was frustrated, irritated… and afraid. Afraid, though he would never admit it, of losing her in this foolhardy plan.
"Listen and think, Sigyn. The only option is to wait. I am not telling you that you will never have vengeance. I am only suggesting that taking your time will be the much better idea. Much safer, for what will become of our sons if we are caught? And what if we fail? We have only one chance, and to waste it would mean everything."
Now he walked over to her, cautiously, fully aware that his suggestion may have only made her angrier. She might hit him, she might ignore him. But he had to see what she was thinking, he had to be sure he was getting through to her.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 12, 2012 9:49:38 GMT -7
They could have continued to discuss the matter about Freia's death, Sigyn might eventually had admitted that she knew her plan was not the right way to go about it. But then, Loki had to say these words. Had to take this argument to a whole new level.
I never asked you to stand by me. You made that choice. You could have been like any other wife, and remained behind as I did as I needed. You could have left, many times. You did not. You are what is keeping you here, so do not complain about how we do things 'my way' when I tell you that your plan is foolish. Do not turn this argument on me.
So, he was a maverick at heart? Sigyn was only with him, because she needed to be? He had never truly wanted her, just condoned her presence next to him? Had he not needed her support? Had it not helped his matters? Had he not asked her for her opinion? Would his life, his actions, have taken the same paths, if Sigyn had been a 'normal' wife to him?
This was probably the most insulting thing she had ever heard him say to her. He was taking her for granted, even worse, it suggested that he could not care less whether she would open her mouth or not, whether she'd play an active part in his life or just remained passive, raising his sons, making a home for her family. He was defying their unique bond, ridiculing the special relationship they had by just uttering a few words, maybe even spoken without care. Had 'his' way really been 'his' way, or 'their' way all along?
Sigyn turned around, holding her throat. Her gaze was significantly darker than before, as her mind processed what he had just put down. "Careful now, Loki. You're walking on thin ice.", Sigyn said darkly. It was as it was with revelations like this one: The more time you had to think about it, the worse the impact was. The hurt grew with every second his words echoed in her mind. She shook, but tried to keep her composure. So this was who she was to him? A burden, an accessorie, that could or could not be present, it did not make a difference.
When he came to find her by the window, Sigyn barely heard him speak. This was not about their original argument anymore. She turned, met his gaze and slowly walked past him. Opening the door, she called for a maid. "Astrid! Would you prepare a guest room, please?", Sigyn said, sounding particularly calm as she spoke to her servant. She closed the door again, crossed her arms over her chest. Slowly, she walked back to the window, her face now void of any positive or pitiful emotion. Sigyn sounded cold. "Well, Prince Loki. Since I seem to be nothing but a mere ......background actor in the great play that is your life, contrary to everything you have made me believe for the past thousands of years, I should not enjoy the honor of sharing your bed henceforth. I shall contemplate behaving myself like 'any other wife' from now on, as you so seem to want that. I will have to assess, whether that kind of wife would indeed have remained by her husband's side as he diversley underwent a variety of different punishments for various attempts at bringing his desire for rulership and recognition to fruition. You will understand that his will take me some time." Sigyn inclined her head, indicating a bow. "I'll leave you to your vastly craved solitude now." With that said, she turned on her heel, in order to leave the room, while her head was spinning.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 12, 2012 21:27:18 GMT -7
Perhaps it was the stress, the pressure they both were feeling. More likely it was the frustration, the anger, the confusion. Loki could not have said for sure what it was. All he knew was that, somehow, the words he uttered ended up twisted into some meaning he had never intended.
It was not until she came back from calling Astrid that he realized what was happening. Before, when she walked past him, he knew she was upset, but he assumed it was to do with the Freia problem. He had not said anything wrong, as far as he was concerned. She was the one who had misspoken, by suggesting that everything they had been through was his fault and that he had dragged her along for it all when it had in fact been her choice.
When finally she explained her decision to use a guest room, Loki could do nothing but stare at her. What? A background actor? Did she not know that she was the most important part of his life? Had he not told her? And where in his words had she heard him say such a thing?
Yet two things kept him from stopping her. One was his pride. The other was a slightly guilty feeling, for in truth, he was tired of arguing, tired of trying to make her see that he was right. It was possible that some time away from him might make her see and think clearly. Clearly, nothing else would.
"Go, then," he said, his tone completely impassive. "Twist my words as you will while you sulk in your guest room. Leave me to bear my frustration and anger alone. But as you do, consider this. If I wanted 'any other wife,' I could have chosen any one of a number of women. But I chose you. I have told you this many times, but you choose to forget it now, because you are so wrapped up in yourself and your anger. Take that with you as you sleep alone tonight."
His eyes narrowed. "Just the same, you knew who I was when you married me. You knew of my aspirations and my faults. Yet you complain of them now as if they are new to you. It's convenient now, isn't it? To justify your own failings by listing my own? Or are you just now admitting that you find me disgusting? Is that how you feel and have felt all along?"
Turning away from her, he fell silent again, the silence that usually indicates that he has made his point, and his part in the conversation was over. Yet after a span of time, he spoke again, without looking at her. This time, there was something in his voice that sounded limp. He might well have been talking to himself.
"Go, and let me fix it myself. It disappoints me too much to see what you've become. Freia has truly broken you." He had never said, had never even thought the words he was about to utter, but he had to say them now, in hopes that it would quell the pain inside him. He had no idea whether she was even still in the room to hear it. It did not matter.
"You have disappointed me, Sigyn."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 13, 2012 2:05:14 GMT -7
Suggesting that he had never asked her to stand by him, to support him, but that Sigyn had made that decision, suggested that he might have found her convenient, but not needed her all along. That he could just as well have done everything himself with no regard to her. Was she truly twisting his words? Or had he just chosen the wrong words to express something that was not as severe as what he had truly said? Fact was, this had made Sigyn feel like a tool, even less important than that. She had thought he had 'chosen' her, because she was not like any other wife, yet he had just proclaimed this difference to be of little value to him. Defying everything she was, diminishing her worth, because that way, he didn't have to take responsibility for his own actions.
And of course, Loki was bringing up his true nature, or the way he saw himself. How sad this was, that he was so scarred by his upbringing, by the revelation of his true nature, that he still did not trust her to be not disgusted of him. Was there suspicion all-presently lingering underneath it all, suspicion that Sigyn might have lied when she had said that she was not appalled by him? She was not. This argument did not change it. But his words made her feel as if everything he had told her, every way he had treated her, was but a lie. "Of course you bring this up, Loki. Would you feel more secure and confident, if I were to find you disgusting, because it'd match the way you feel about yourself? If so, I have to disappoint you.", Sigyn said, looking over her shoulder at him. She left the room then, not hearing his last words anymore. It was better this way, because it would just have hurt more. If his words were true, how could he be disappointed in her for having become broken by someone else? Should this not encourage him to support her more, if he thought her to be broken? Sigyn had not done this to herself.
Sigyn hurried to get away from the bedroom, hands clasped tightly in front of her body, because they were shaking. She made her way through their new palace, towards the garden. Greta said on the stairs, embroidering a piece of fabric, while Narvi and Vali were playing in the garden, pouring buckets of water over themselves in the hot weather. Sigyn sat down next to Greta, who turned to look at her. She instantly knew something was up. Putting the fabric down, Great put her arm around Sigyn's shoulder. Sigyn leaned against Greta, put her head on the woman's shoulder and closed her eyes. A tiny kiss found its way upon Sigyn's hair, an arm squeezed Sigyn. No words were spoken. Greta just held Sigyn, knowing very well that something had come up. However, no matter how close Sigyn and Greta were, Sigyn had never shared every detail of hers and Loki's fights with the maid. It'd insult their bond and her loyalty to him.
"Mother!", Vali laughed as he noticed that Sigyn had approached. He ran towards Sigyn, a little bucket, that was halfly filled with water still, in his hands. "Mother do you need to cool down?" Sigyn sat up right away, smiled her best smile, even though some weakness still lingered in it. She lifted her hand. "No no, sweetheart, I am fine!" "Are you sure?", Vali grinned, stopping in front of Sigyn. Narvi caught up then. Both boys were only wearing light shirts and trousers, that were soaking wet. "Mama," Narvi said. As usual, the little one was picking up Sigyn's mood instantly, He sat down next to her and leaned in, his wet head against her side. Sigyn put her arm around him, regardless of the state of his clothes, put a kiss on his hair. Vali realized that something was up just now, put the bucket down. "Mother I will fetch you some cake. Pastries make everybody happy." Sigyn had to chuckle about this one, but that chuckle almost pushed the tears that were just waiting to be shed out of her eyes. "I don't need any cake," Sigyn said, pulling Vali in. He stood besides her, wrapped his arms around his mother. Sigyn sat there, hugging her boys, being hugged by Greta. But still, she knew one person was missing in this picture. Someone that might not have wanted her as desperately all along.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 13, 2012 21:25:55 GMT -7
Now he was alone. He could tell without turning around, once he let the room fall silent and his thoughts fade away. Sigyn's presence was an almost tangible thing, as much as the presence of his toes or lungs or heart. Now Loki had to consider whether this was a good idea after all. He was alone, and it was not as much of a relief as he had thought it might be. Already he was wondering where she had gone and whether he should go to her.
His pride would not let him seek her out, however, so he remained in the room, wandering out to the balcony, where he leaned against the balustrade, his gaze sweeping the city before him and yet seeing nothing. The palace was there in the distance, as it always was. It seemed a dream now, the sentence that Odin had handed down. Oh, why could Odin not have simply sentenced the woman to death? Things would not have fallen apart as they had. Freia would have been executed and they all would have been done with it.
Yet this was not about Freia anymore, was it? He was not altogether certain what it was about. They had both said some things that had offended the other, yet Loki would not apologize for something when he had no idea what he had done. He was aware that his insecurities tended to surface during these arguments, but when he was in these moods it was impossible for him to understand how she did not find him unworthy or frightening or, indeed, disgusting. He had his moments of confidence, where if he did feel anything at all about himself, it was more positive than in these moments of self-doubt.
For his part, it was a mood that would have to be allowed to pass before any progress could be made. And perhaps it was better that he do it alone, he thought, leaving the balcony to pick up a book resting on a table, then take a seat in a chair across the room. No sooner had he begun to read than he lost interest, and set it aside. His mind was on Sigyn and it would not be distracted. He could figure out where he had misstepped, if he tried.
He could barely remember anything he had said in anger, but he must have said something to make her think she was unimportant. He had compared her to other wives, he remembered that. But she had been the one to walk away, not he. Walk away when they needed each other most. Well, then, if she did not need his support to get through the frustration Odin's choice had left them with, then, he did not need her either.
Propping his head up in his hand, he closed his eyes, but did not fall asleep. Suddenly he felt tired, not enough to rest, but as though a weight burdened him, and he could not have said what the weight was.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 16, 2012 4:54:10 GMT -7
Sigyn spent a couple of hours playing with the boys. She had filled Greta in on the sentence, the maid figured her bad mood was only related to that. Greta and Sigyn agreed to talk more thoroughly later, when the boys were asleep. Even after all those years as a princess, she appreciated Greta's opinion and advice. Sigyn seeked it out often, but Greta would tell her her opinion unsolicitedly, too. They just were this close.
At some point, Sigyn's dress had become awefully wet. She had sent a maid to get her some clothes, as Sigyn did not want to bump into Loki, wherever he lingered at this time of the day. She did the same about dinner. Greta took the boys, Sigyn told them that she still had work to do. She did not feel like talking to her husband. Her anger was still pumping the blood through her veines in hot, almost tormenting streams. How could he have said something so horrible? Or had that thought been on his mind forever already, he just had had enough self-control to keep it to himself? Now, in an emotionally straining time, he could not hold back anymore. Had he not truly wanted her as much all along?
But the bottom line was much worse: Sigyn knew, had known ever since the day they had reunited on the yard, that she could not be without him. She'd stay by his side, no matter what that even meant. Had he started to treat her with little care, with hatred even, had he made clear that he did not love or need her as much, she would have stayed with him regardless. And she would do so, now. There was nothing Loki could do to make her leave him, except for being a monster to his children maybe. In that case, she'd leave, but she'd leave a heartbroken woman. But if he had been true with her from the start, she would have known what she had bargained for. This way, she had believed their bond to be special, unique, mandatory. A lifeline both of them were holding on to. Yet it seemed the only one holding on to it was her. At least, if he had meant what he had said. Sigyn had thougth their marriage to work both ways, that both of them needed the other as much, their support, their advice, their judgement. And Loki had just told her that he had never wanted it, he had just accepted it.
On the other hand, Sigyn knew having another conversation - and they needed another - in her state of anger and irritation would only lead to another fight. She was still stubborn and she'd still likely provoke a fight if they crossed path, maybe only by being ironic and rude. She had to figure her thoughts out, had to know what she was going to say to him. Yet, as she was sitting at her desk in her study the whole day, she could concentrate on nothing, but recollecting their fight in her mind, hoping that he had said what he had said on a whim, out of stubbornness, and not because at the end of the day, he did not give a rat's ass about her love and support.
When night had fallen, Sigyn went to kiss her boys goodnight. She'd find Greta later in her quarters, at least that was the plan. For now, she was making her way through their castle, to the guestroom that would inhabit her for a while, so she thought. Sigyn wanted to change into something more comfortable, had a maid gather the most necessary items she needed. One thing was for sure: Sigyn would not sleep tonight. She had spent aeons sharing a bed with Loki. There had been some nights apart, when he had been out for battle or other purposes. But knowing a fight was what was keeping them apart just upset her. So much that she didn't feel like sleeping, no matter how mighty her fatigue was.
But when she entered the guest room, she found an unexpected visitor sitting in an armchair, waiting for her. Loki. She only briefly met his gaze, but walked past him in order to check the armoire out, decide on a light dress to wear. Absent-mindedly, Sigyn browsed through the small collection of clothes. "I do not think I will successfully sulk in my guest room, if you sit there, watching me," she said. Some part inside of her flinched, shaking its head and begging her to cut down on the irony and stubbornness. But Sigyn couldn't help it. It was too early to talk, but it seemed she had no choice. Not that anyone around her seemed to care about her choices or opinions.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 16, 2012 10:48:21 GMT -7
Hours passed. Nothing Loki did or thought brought him comfort. As with the book he had tried to read, no activity held his interest for longer than a few minutes, Yet inactivity was worse. With his mind free to wander, it automatically went to Sigyn and thoughts of their fight, trying to grasp again where it was that the argument had turned. Had he even meant half of what he said? Even he did not know for sure.
After a time, he stood up and left the room, knowing exactly where he was headed. More than likely, Sigyn was with their sons, and would see them to bed before retiring to the room she'd had set up for herself. He would go and see the boys later, perhaps look on them as they slept. It was unusual for him not to see them before they slept, but in the boys' rooms was not where he wanted to run into Sigyn. He did not want to drag them into this.
Instead he headed to the guest room and settled into an armchair. He knew this was the correct room; it had been dressed and set up with some of Sigyn's things, which he had noticed the maids coming in to gather. The fact that she had not wanted to risk facing him for even the brief moment of getting her own things bothered him. Was she truly that angry with him?
He could not have said how much time passed before Sigyn entered. The moment his eyes fell on her, he knew he had made the right choice by coming here, uninvited as he was. He would not have made it through the night without her. Then again, he certainly would have, but it would not have been easy, and it would have made things worse on his end. He would have borne the grudge of having to spend an important night, the one following the sentencing, on his own. He would have hated her for that.
It did not seem his presence was welcome here, but Loki had the grace to ignore her snarl at him, rather than exacerbating the matter by responding in kind. He had risen to his feet when she entered. Now he took a step toward her - but only one step. There he stopped. "Sigyn, I… said some things earlier that I should not have. If you would give me the opportunity, I would explain myself more fully this time." Short of actually apologizing, that was all he could think to say at the moment, and he knew Sigyn well enough - or so he thought - to know that an apology was the last thing she would want in this moment.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 16, 2012 11:02:23 GMT -7
Loki was a sight you couldn't ignore, not someone that went by unnoticed if he did not intend to be. He was tall, had sharp features and moreover, his aura was incredibly consuming. Ignoring him was hard, yet Sigyn did a perfect job. He stood next to her, as tall as he was, as present as he was, but she continued to gather her clothing.
Often, her stubbornness would get them to fight again, but sometimes Loki was perfectly able to keep his cool. It was good he acted as a katalyst in situations like that, because Sigyn did not have it in her to de-escalate the situation. Another aspect of the way they perfectly fit together. Either way, she was already thinking about all the things she could say, she could throw into his face, when he offered explanation. Loki was right in assuming Sigyn would not want an apology. She had rarely asked him to apologize, whatever the matter had been. An injury during yet another battle fought for and with him or the like, Sigyn stood by his side so much that she appreciated to hear that he was sorry, but rarely asked for it. After all, Loki rarely regretted his actions anyway, every apology on that ground would be nothing but a joke.
No, Sigyn wanted explanations. She wanted to understand how his mind had worked or was working. After that, she might ask for an apology.
Sigyn could have easily gone with yet another day of not talking, merely for the sake of calming herself down and maybe, making him feel a little bad about himself. She could be endlessly patient with things like these. So she did not turn towards him, as he adressed her. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her anger to herself for now. Eventually, her hand came to rest on her nightgown. She lifted her head, met his gaze. "Go ahead," she said cooly. Loki had this one chance. And he'd better not try to lie to her.
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