Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 22, 2012 10:35:11 GMT -7
Really, Loki would have preferred that Sigyn be ecstatic about their choice. She was not. That left him back at square one. He feared he would have to persuade her again that having another child was a good idea. It had been difficult enough before; even with the boys returned to them, she wanted to wait for the right time, it seemed. Why could the right time not be now?
Ah, because they were still upset about Freia and still recovering from the tremendous argument they'd had. Why should that change anything? There would always be something to be upset about. Loki had been upset for most of his long life. But he knew Sigyn probably wanted to handle this her way, by facing the situation head-on.
So as she spoke, his lips formed a frown and stayed there. He said nothing, though, wary of causing another fight so soon after the last. She reminded him that the odds of her being pregnant now were low, and he nodded slowly, turning the fact over in his mind. He would have liked to believe that they had managed it on the first try, but that would require ignoring the other factors at work that were out of their control.
Finally he spoke, though his words were wholly unrelated to the subject at hand. "Perhaps we should take the boys riding today," he said, but the change in subject spoke volumes. He did not wish to talk about the possibility that they had failed, or about the problems they had faced the day before. He wanted to focus on what they had, and ignore the rest. As he always did.
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 23, 2012 9:31:29 GMT -7
This was too bad. Sigyn had never feared to disagree with Loki, her opinion had always come from her heart and been true. And sometimes, they had had to agree to disagree. Of course, this was a similar situation, but in this case, her approach hurt Loki and there was nothing she could do about it, no budging, no compromise. It was too important. She could tell how displeased he was about the situation, even before he changed subject.
Sigyn put her hand on his bare back, her lips against his shoulder and said nothing for a moment. Both of the knew that their opinions weren't the same. She remained calm, she was not interested in having another fight, as well. "That is a good idea.", she said. Vali was pretty good on a horse, Narvi still the faintest bit insecure. Moreover, their boys needed some quality time with their parents, too and possibly, Loki and Sigyn could use some just as much. "Do you want breakfast first?", she asked. Loki's eating habits had been a bit odd lately, they had talked about it before. Putting him under pressure now was not a good idea. Maybe, he'd just have a cup of tea while the boys and Sigyn ate. Of course, the problem wouldn't go away if they took the boys out today, but sometimes, a bit of distraction was the wisest thing to do.
Little did Sigyn know that the one problem wasn't even a problem anymore. For they had succeeded.
(I didn't know where you'd want to pick up?)
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 23, 2012 11:10:01 GMT -7
As far as Loki was concerned, they were done talking about babies and trouble. He did not know when he would be ready to pick up the conversation again. Whenever they did, there was bound to be disagreement, and perhaps another fight. For now, he just wanted to forget about it. Later, he thought, he might be more willing to listen and talk.
"Yes," Loki said in response to her question about breakfast, though he said it in a tone that showed how little he planned to eat. The simple thought of food at the moment made his stomach turn. He would probably have some tea and maybe a little fruit, but nothing more. "We should find the boys and make sure they eat as well."
Already he sounded - and felt - tired. A bit of time with their boys would change that, he was sure. He would forget all his anxieties and simply enjoy the time with his family. Finally climbing out of bed, he found his pants and slipped them on, and stepped over to a window, where he took a few breaths of fresh air. There was a small swell of anger rising in him, the cause of which he could not name, but by now he knew better than to take it out on Sigyn.
Gathering his tunic, he pulled it on and then called a servant to deliver breakfast to their usual dining room, the smaller one, where they would join their sons. He was not intentionally ignoring Sigyn, he just was not sure how to approach her at the moment, and was not sure that approaching her was even a good idea, with the way he was feeling.
Had he known the truth of her condition, he would have felt differently.
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 23, 2012 11:21:16 GMT -7
"We should," she said. What lingered then was an unusual thing: The mood turned awkward. Loki and Sigyn had stopped feeling awkward around each other millenia ago. Now, she felt weird and insecure and like him, kind of angry. Angry at the situation to have become as it was. So Sigyn got up and got dressed. "I will get dressed and gather the boys," she said, watching his back. She briefly pondered saying something, but she wouldn't even know what to talk about. So Sigyn left. After a short wash, in a new dress and with Narvi and Vali - who were chatting like crazy - she entered the dining room. Breakfast was already served and Loki was already sitting there, having tea. That was actually the first thing she noticed. He wasn't truly eating. Again. Could a God starve himself to death? Sigyn pursed her lips, said nothing. "Father! We are going horseback riding!", Narvi cheered, running until he stopped at Loki's side, holding on to his father's lower arm. "Oh yes, you need lessons, my brother!", Vali teased. "Vali!", Sigyn said calmly, raising a brow. She would not have this kind of teasing between the brothers if she could prevent it. "Both of you need sustenance first. This is going to be exhausting,", she said. She meant to say The three of you..., but she managed to keep it down for now.
After breakfast, she sent Greta off with the boys in order to get them dressed properly for riding, excused herself to change into pants as well. Soon after, they gathered in the yard, where the horses were aligned already. Sigyn's grey and white stallion, Loki's proud horse and their son's new horses, that were much smaller than Loki's and Sigyn's. Vali and Narvi were talking about the best way to put most food into their attire's pockets. Sigyn took Loki's arm. "Are we alright?", she asked in a low voice, her eyes wide. It was one thing to be ignorant and distant when she was mad at him. But this awkardness made her feel particularly scared.
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 23, 2012 12:08:48 GMT -7
For the first time, Loki felt truly distant from his family, from Sigyn and their boys. As he sat there with his tea, and watched Narvi and Vali greet their mother, he simply did not feel the joy that they usually brought him. When Narvi stopped next to him, Loki ruffled his hair and smiled. There was no reason why he, Loki, should feel this exhausted already, this early in the morning. It was not the sweet exhaustion of having made love the night before, but the sort that accompanied a weight on one's shoulders. It was a familiar feeling to him, and yet without explanation.
He gave a half-smile as Sigyn chided the boys, and they all had some breakfast, enough that Loki was confident the boys would not be hungry. Yet he barely spoke, except addressed directly by Narvi or Vali, and even then, his answers were very brief. Then everyone went to get dressed, and Loki changed into riding clothes, so absentmindedly that by the time he was outside with the horses, he did not remember having changed.
Feeling the pressure of her hand on his arm, Loki turned to see Sigyn looking at him, concern in her eyes. "Yes," he answered automatically, because there was nothing wrong between them exactly. The problem was within himself. It was he who was putting the space between them. But it was just one of those days, when everything was uncomfortable. Perhaps it was the way they had greeted each other when they had woken up, or the way they had fought before still troubling him. More likely it was some old emotion he had never dealt with.
He squeezed her hand. "I am sorry, my love. Let us enjoy this time with our sons." He forced a smile and nudged the horse forward, as the boys seemed ready to begin their ride.
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 23, 2012 12:19:33 GMT -7
If Loki needed a bit of distance to clear his mind, she'd give him that space. Thing was, they usually didn't work like that. Usually, in times of trouble, distance was the last thing they craved. That was the reason for Sigyn's insecurity. Alas, they had fought, they had gone through horrible events and they obviously disagreed on one of the most important topics of their lives, something that would set a different path for their future. Of course, today would be different.
"Don't be," Sigyn said, squeezing his arm. The boys were giddy, naturally, so they'd have to settle their quarrels for now and be parents. Because that was what Narvi and Vali needed them to be. "Let us go, then," Sigyn said. Vali climbed his horse with grace, but Narvi did not manage to get into the saddle by himself. The poor boy almost fought for his life, but he just did not gather enough momentum to make it on top of his horse. Sigyn did not move, though. Loki was standing closer to their youngest to begin with, but moreover, connecting with his son would do him good. So she let Narvi's father help him out, while Sigyn got into the saddle already. "Vali," she said, riding close to her oldest, so that Narvi would not hear her talk, "Your brother can learn a lot from you." Of course, there was a silent command in her words. She wanted Vali to teach Narvi what the little one did not know yet, not scold him for it. And Vali nodded. At the end of the day, she had watched Vali teach Narvi things over and over again. It was the sweetest picture. Eventually, they picked up a slow pace, so that Narvi could keep up. "Father?," Narvi asked Loki, "You do love mother a lot, do you not?" Narvi had always been over averagely attentive. Had he picked up the mood just like that?
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 23, 2012 15:03:02 GMT -7
Seeing the trouble Narvi was having getting onto his horse, Loki gave him a little boost, just enough for him to mostly get into the saddle himself. He would need the practice. Soon he would be big enough to climb into the saddle himself, and it would be a shame if Loki or Sigyn were still helping him at that age and size.
He heard Sigyn subtly tell Vali to help his brother learn, as he climbed into the saddle of his own horse. The boys needed to work together, to grow together, and most of all to not be rivals. They did not need any more rival brothers in their family.
Narvi's question caught him off guard. Was it that obvious that they were divided? "Yes, Narvi," he said, reaching for Sigyn's hand. "But your father has days when he forgets how lucky he is to have her, and his sons." He ruffled Narvi's hair again. The last thing he wanted was for either son to take up his habits of not dealing with his problems. He wanted them to learn the skills he had missed.
"Ready to go?" he asked them, taking hold of the reins again and waiting for one of them - probably Vali - to get them started on their way.
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 24, 2012 13:19:03 GMT -7
Sigyn, who had not picked up on Narvi's question, took his hand instantly. Even though she was a little confused as to why he was displaying affection all of a sudden, after the distance they had endured for a couple of hours, she lifed his hand and put a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Vali, next to Sigyn, pulled a face. He seemed to be right in the middle of this odd phase when girls were gross and parents should not be affectionate. He'd live, though.
"Why?", Narvi asked with huge, curious eyes. If Sigyn knew anything about her son, a dozen of more 'whys' were to follow. But she smirked, utterly reluctant to help Loki out of this situation. "Let's go," she said instead. Vali started instantly and actually, way too fast. "Vali, slow down!", Sigyn said, following her son instantly, catching up with him. They had no use for a broken arm after someone had fallen off his horse. That left Loki with little Vali, who was still waiting for his answer and over that, entirely forgetting to order his horse to speed up. "Faaather!", he reminded Loki. But that was what children did to you, didn't they? They took the worst possible situation and turned it in a happy memory. Somehow.
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 25, 2012 20:39:37 GMT -7
Rarely, if ever, did Loki feel regret. Yet when Sigyn kissed his hand, a wave of guilt overtook him for a moment. They should not have fought. At a time like this, they should have remained united. He should not have been so hardheaded.
The moment passed, though, as Narvi's next question did require an answer. He knew that if he was not careful, Narvi would just ask it over and over, until the little boy tired of it. Meanwhile, Sigyn was absolutely no help as she rode off after Vali, leaving Loki to come up with an answer for Narvi.
He sighed a little. It would not do to say too much, for he wanted Narvi to understand, but not to say too much. "Your mother and I have been together for a long time, Narvi," he explained, though in Asgardian terms their marriage was still rather new. "And as time passes, it becomes natural to take each other for granted. It is easy to become so used to someone being there that one forgets how quickly that someone can vanish. Or change." He gave Narvi a half-smile, wondering whether the young boy understood.
"We can't let Vali and Mother leave us behind, can we?" he asked playfully, nudging his horse forward and waiting for Narvi to do the same.
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 27, 2012 8:55:01 GMT -7
"How long? Longer than I live?", Narvi asked, wiping his hand across his face, while he struggled to hold the reins with just one. Scratching his nose, the little one nodded, pouted his lips as if he was musing. "You should give mother a pastry. Pastries make everybody happy. I sometimes bribe Vali with cake. It always works.", he advised Loki. Well, someone had gotten some traits from his father, had he not? Narvi looked at his mother and his brother in the distance. He was obviously in some kind of conflict. Of course, he did want to be as good as Vali on his horse, but it seemed Narvi was actually scared.
When they had picked horses, picking a horse for Narvi had been easy. There had be this one small grey and white horse that had somehow rather lazily - or patiently - munched away on a small stack of grass, having a great meal, while the other horses had fought over a bigger stack. It had been calm, looked almost wise and somehow, Narvi and the horse had bonded easily. Soon, Narvi had fed the horse with grass, while Vali had still tried to convince his parents to get him the biggest, wildes of them all, which of course had not happened. When asked about his wishes, Narvi had made an instant decisions, called the horse his friend and named him Afi. Said Afi was not buckling or tapping his hoof, he was waiting as Narvi made a decision. The little boy gave the horse a little nudge. "Walk, Afi. But if you find a nice place to eat, have at it. I know it is like cake to you." The horse started to walk as it had been told to do. Narvi was bouncing in the saddle a little, trying to remember what he had been taught so far. But he was actually giggling. It still took him quite a lot of concentration not to fall off. They wouldn't catch up with Sigyn and Vali for a while.
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 27, 2012 19:23:29 GMT -7
His son was wise beyond his years, Loki decided with an amused smile. "You give excellent council, my son," Loki told Narvi proudly, as though Narvi had solved the mystery of life. Of course, Loki knew that simply giving Sigyn a pastry would not make things right. The problems between them were deeper than that. But it would be a shame not to try Narvi's wonderful advice.
"We have been together longer than you and Vali have been alive," Loki added, answering Vali's earlier question. Not by much, relatively speaking, especially in the lives of gods. Parenthood had proved a challenge, but Sigyn and even he had grown used to it, and maybe even good at it. Moreover, it was not something they had forgotten over time. They had taken on their roles as mother and father easily, without missing a beat. Even their worries over the sentencing had not been able to come between them and their sons, though it had come between them.
Loki approved of his younger son's choice of horse. Though Loki was not sure what had truly drawn Narvi to the horse, he did see that the two got along well, and understood each other, which was more important than size or speed. Though Vali had taught his little brother much, there were some things Vali could learn from Narvi, it seemed.
Narvi had a good mix of his parents' tendencies, as he was able to both bribe Vali yet be considerate toward Afi. Loki approved of that as well. Vali had turned out much the same way. Sometimes Loki had the thought that he and Sigyn were raising the boys well, and that possibly meant as much as genes did.
Loki set his horse to walk as well, riding close to Narvi. "Settle comfortably into the saddle, but keep your posture straight enough that you do not bounce as much. Do not fear falling." He gave Narvi a little smile. "Take your time, you are still learning. Soon you will ride as fast as Vali, but younger than he was when he first learned."
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 28, 2012 13:14:07 GMT -7
Narvi was about to smile widely and be happy about learning that he had done something at a younger age than Vali, when he bounced yet again. Narvi shut up and started to really concentrate on the horse. "Afi be a little calmer, please," the boy told the horse. It was not Afi being too wild that created the problem, it was Narvi not being in charge of all of his body. He tried to listen to his father's advice. Not fearing to fall was not so easy. Vali was the braver one, moreover, a horse was a pretty big creature for a little boy. But Narvi got more control the longer they rode. They were just slower than Sigyn and Vali, but that was okay. This way, Loki could teach Narvi how to ride and Sigyn could teach Vali how to slow down.
That she did, a couple of feet away. "Vali, if you fall off this horse and break a leg, you won't be able to practice at all," Sigyn called her son out. Of course, a little healing here and there could fix the problem easily, but Sigyn would not let her son off the hook that easily. She'd make sure he would not be in tremendous pain, but there was still a lesson to be learned. Fixing everything right away would not do the job. "But mother, I can already ride," he said and just then, bounced a little too high. Vali got a hold of the saddle in the last possible moment. "See!", Sigyn said, "I hate to say that I have told you so." Vali pouted his lips and pulled a face, but he knew Sigyn was right. "Now, Vali," she softly said, "You can learn anything you want, but you need to take the first step before the second, alright?" "Yes, mother," he said meekly. Vali slowed down, and so did Sigyn. Soon, they had reached the little clearing in the woods, the one holding the small lake, such a memorable place for Loki and Sigyn.
Sigyn dismounted her horse, but Vali stayed up for now.
"Father! Are we going swimming?", Narvi asked the closer they came to the lake. The weather was still insanely hot. Of course, the little boy thought about swimming. It was the only way to cool down.
Well, unless you were married to a frost giant, obviously.
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 28, 2012 14:28:23 GMT -7
Quietly, Loki watched Narvi as he struggled with the horse. His sweet boy was doing all he could, even politely asking the horse to calm down, yet Loki noticed right away that Narvi was missing the root of the problem. Loki tried to remember learning to ride but could not, the memory being too far in the past, part of a different lifetime. However, he was fairly certain Odin would have pushed him off the horse if he had displayed any fear of falling from it. Just another way he was separating himself from his supposed father's legacy, he decided.
"One day, Narvi," he said carefully, "you may fall off your horse. It may be tomorrow, or it may be years from now. But it is nothing to fear. I have fallen from horses many times, in battle or even trying to keep up with your uncle Thor. It hurts every time," he said with a chuckle. "Try not to fall. But if you do, fall well."
Pulling his horse up next to Narvi's, he reached over and reset Narvi in the saddle to be more comfortable, ensuring that his feet were in the stirrups. They picked their way along behind Vali and Sigyn, and eventually came upon the lake.
Loki glanced at Narvi as the boy asked about swimming. "Not today," he answered, for swimming had not been part of the original plan. Yet there was room for their plans to change, and he looked at Sigyn, waiting for her to confirm or deny his response.
|
|
Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
|
Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Sept 28, 2012 14:48:06 GMT -7
Narvi did not like the prospect of falling off his horse. That was entirely visible on his face. Vali might have claimed that he'd never fall and even if he did, he'd do it with grace. But not so little Narvi. The only consolation for the little prince was knowing that his father had fallen, too. Naturally, to Narvi, Loki meant endless wisdom and skill. He was his father! Fathers knew and could do anything! So maybe, falling off a horse was not that bad a thing!
"I will try, father.", Narvi said, his lips pressed into a thin line as he successfully stopped his bouncing for the most parts.
However, the news about being close to the lake, yet not being able to go swimming did not strike Narvi's fancy. Neither Vali's, who had climbed off his horse by now, approached his mother. "But mother, it is so warm!", the older Lokison argued. Sigyn tilted her head. "It indeed is," she said, locking her gaze with Loki's. Sigyn lifted her brows, gave him the hint of a nod. She would be okay with actually taking a swim, yet Loki - as the man of the house - got the last call today. Not that Sigyn would not dare to make a decision, yet she always had that inclination to give Loki room to be a father. He was doubtful about his qualities. He needed to be taught otherwise.
|
|
Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
|
Post by Loki Laufeyson on Sept 28, 2012 15:17:43 GMT -7
Whether Loki's little speech had any effect on Narvi, he was not sure, but he did notice that Narvi was able to ride more smoothly afterward. Loki was not built to be a motivational speaker at all. He was dark, brooding, often menacing, anything but optimistic. Yet he knew how to speak well, and could speak honestly when he chose to.
At the lake, the boys' disappointment in not going swimming became apparent. Loki would not have minded a swim himself, but he was reluctant to do so on such short notice. He preferred his plans. Yet he understood that plans had to change sometimes. Sigyn's nod confirmed it.
"Yes, it is," he agreed, his gaze drifting toward the water. After dismounting, he reached for Narvi and helped him off his horse. "Then perhaps a swim is in order."
He could be wrong at times. And when the matter he was wrong about involved his boys or Sigyn, he was usually willing to change his mind. Besides, this might give him time to work things out with Sigyn - or, more specifically, work things out within himself. For it was his own self, his own thoughts and behaviors and habits, that kept him from opening up to her, or even knowing what it was that bothered him.
|
|