Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 20, 2012 14:18:56 GMT -7
It had been a couple of months. A little over five months, to be precise. Sigyn knew, she was kind of drawing this out, but she just did not want to jump the gun. Not that she thought they would be jumping the gun, if they made a last step towards the direction they both wanted.
Because, she did want him. Badly. He was so special, what they were having was. Of course, five months were nothing in comparison to eternity, but it felt like she had known him forever. Sigyn could not imagine life without Loki, meeting him almost on a daily basis, talk and by now, actually goof around every now and then. They had their own little hiding places, unsupervised by anyone, just the two of them. Talking. He had shown her some of his magic and she had tried to do her best and mimick it. But he was just too good a sorcerer to compete with. Their time together was not a competition however, it was just quality time in the best possible meaning of the word.
Sigyn wasn't even recognizing herself anymore, when she was looking at the mirror. She blushed, as if her own reflection had caught her daydreaming. She smiled like a young girl and was lost in thoughts when she wasn't with him. Even her friends had asked her what was going on, but nobody really knew about him. Not because she was ashamed or scared. But sharing something so intimate and special with a person like Gudrun, who was as shallow as she was, just didn't seem like the right thing.
Moreover, they were not engaged or anything alike. They had not even kissed until...well, until two days ago.
Loki and Sigyn had taken a walk through the forest, close to the small lake and had talked. And he had finally made that step. Sigyn had wanted to kiss him badly, even before that, but her own principles had stood in her way. But two days ago, she had stumbled and he had caught her and not hestitated to put his lips on her. It had been wonderful.
So after this, she was nervous to meet him. In all the right ways. Her stomach was trembling with excitement as she climbed her horse and rode towards the forest, where they'd meet at this special spot, right where the old oak and the huge stone stood opposite the other. No one was supposed to know, yet she wanted to scream out loud, yell it into Asgard from the top of her lungs. Who knew what'd happen tomorrow?
She was careful not to run into her mother as she left, they were fighting even more these days. And eventually, Sigyn got off her horse at that spot, wrapped in her own cape, waiting for Loki to show up. He's going to show up. Of course he is.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 20, 2012 15:42:38 GMT -7
Five months was a long time, even for someone destined to live for millennia. Loki reflected on that as he followed the others into Asgard. Their group was traveling slowly, because, as usual, he was near the front with Thor, and he was not pushing his horse very fast.
He would gladly have taken up the rear, but that was no place for him to be when Thor was around. His brother insisted on having him nearby, at the head of the group, the way a prince should ride. And normally, Loki was happy to oblige. It was just this particular day. He was in a rush to be home, yes. He was always glad to be back after their adventures, especially lately, when he knew Sigyn would be waiting for him.
This trip was different. He had come back alive, as usual. He, Thor, the Warriors Three, and Sif had been engaged in a small battle on the way back, an ambush, but nothing to worry about. They had subdued their attackers with ease. Loki had sustained a few scratches and bruises here and there, but they were all faded by now.
None of this was unusual. The problem lay in what had happened the night before they left. He had some explaining to do to Sigyn, and he was not looking forward to it. He had a feeling he knew how she would react. It was tempting to simply skip their planned meeting and go straight home. But the eventual punishment for that kind of move would be even worse. He needed to own up to what he had done, somehow.
As he rode, he was choosing his words, constructing them as carefully as he always did. The way he explained it would have a direct effect on her reaction. He had no wish to resort to trickery, but he would if he had to. He had to keep himself out of trouble as much as possible.
But what of her? He had done exactly what she had probably feared this whole time, if he had truly known her these past months. Five months was such a long time. They had only kissed for the first time just before he'd left. He was trying to give her space, to let her set their pace, but he wanted more. He wanted her. He needed her.
He had known from the beginning that this would not be a one-night affair, that it would take a while before she began to feel the same way he did. But… five months. He had failed her, and he regretted how he was going to make her feel. But - and this worried him - he felt only a little remorse for what he had done.
She would be able to see that. And she would hate him for it.
He left the others and turned toward the lake, offering no explanation to any of them, only answering his brother's shouts with a promise that he would catch up. And there he found her, as beautiful as ever, waiting with her horse. He slowed his horse to a walk and dismounted, offering her the best smile he could muster. He was tired, they had been traveling long, and he knew the next few minutes - or more - would be difficult.
"Sigyn," he said softly, embracing her. Even though it was probably unfair of him to do so, he kissed her as well, and ran a hand through her hair and over her shoulders. If only they would pretend this had never happened, that he had not done what he had.
Now he was beginning to regret it.
"Sigyn… there's something I should tell you."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 20, 2012 15:51:12 GMT -7
Finally, she heard the faint sound of hooves hitting the ground. Thank the allfather, he was alive! Sigyn knew there was no need to worry, for he was a god and accompanied by the best warriors Asgard had to offer. Yet she felt so close and every pain he felt, struck her as well. She had not been sick with worry, but the relief she felt as her gaze settled on him and his horse was incredible.
Her heart began to thud in her chest like an orchestra of drums. The next few seconds were important. Did he have regrets? Would he kiss her again? Sigyn wanted him to, so much was for sure.
She was standing there like a fawn in the headlights, the few seconds before he had put his feet on the ground and passed the distances felt like ages. And finally, he was right in front of her. Loki embraced her and she returned the embrace. Sigyn exhaled a long sigh, right against his neck. But he stole her breath, as his lips found hers. She instinctively closed her eyes and smiled. He smelled of battle, dust and himself. She'd never tire of this scent. But the kiss ended too soon. Weird. Something was not right. She felt it. The way he kissed her, it...felt guilty.
Sigyn frowned as she looked up to him, his hand so tenderly touching her hair. Sigyn frowned. Had something happened. Was he not well? "What happened? Are you unwell, my lord?", she asked. No. Never in a million years did she think that this had something to do with her. It couldn't be about their first kiss, because he had kissed her again right in this moment, hadn't he? "Is it your brother? The warriors? The lady Sif? Did someone get hurt?", she asked, nervous about what there was to come. Sigyn put her hands on his lower arms, slightly squeezing the armor covering them. If something had happened, she'd be there for him, be strong. After all, she had come to believe that he would allow her to be strong for him, if he felt weak.
Little did she know she'd need all the strength she had for herself.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 20, 2012 16:35:52 GMT -7
This felt perfect, the weight of Sigyn in his arms, her slender body pressed against his, his lips finding hers. This was what he had yearned for. But it was too late for him to take back what he had done. He could only be honest or lie. Lying was what he would normally do. It came so easily to him, and he was so good at it. He could fool anyone, even his family. It was a skill he was immensely proud of, and continued to hone to the point of perfection.
Tricking Sigyn would not be as simple. She saw things in him that others missed. She would be able to tell, he knew with a nearly paranoid certainty. Their relationship was based on trust and honesty, on being open with each other. How long could he keep such a secret from her? She had already felt it, he realized, in his kiss. Would he never be able to hide anything from her?
Perhaps she would be understanding, accepting. She knew of his children, including Sleipnir. That had been a trial, explaining that story to her. Actually, it had been kind of funny. Not at the time that he'd had the norse, but at least now he could see the humor in the situation. He still felt bitter over it. At least Sigyn's reactions had been amusing.
This, however, was not a joking matter. Not as far as Loki could tell. Sigyn asked whether he was all right, then about his partners. "I an fine, the others are well. We had an uneventful trip, aside from one ambush just now. It was nothing."
He took a breath and looked at her, his hand still brushing through her hair. He wanted to draw out this moment, for he feared it would not last. She would be angry, and he would have no defense to suit her demands. This was how it went with every woman. How could she have denied him what he wanted, and expected him not to turn elsewhere? He was within his rights, as a man and a prince. He did as he wished, and never feared repercussions.
Why did that excuse feel so weak?
"Sigyn…." A breath drew out the sound of her name. "While we were gone, I… ran into a former lover. We spent the night together."
That was only one part of what he had to say, but he paused, clearly waiting for a response before he continued. His eyes were locked on her, his gaze mixed with guilt and hope. Guilt that he had to hurt her this way, and hope that she would understand.
They had come so far together. Just being in this spot of theirs reminded him of the times they had shared, the talks, the magic lessons, the random moments of happiness. He had felt happy, he realized. How fleeting a feeling that could be.
"Please understand me," he said, his voice soft. "I have no wish to hurt you."
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 0:47:21 GMT -7
Everything that had happened before they had met didn't matter to her, as far as the quality of their relationship was concerned. He was a god. He was oldert than her. He was royalty, very good looking and their morals were different to the mortal's morals anyway. So what, he had children already, born out of wedlock? That did not change the way they had met and how sweet he had been to her. It did not change how he had shown her how he could turn a flower into ice. It did not change how he had caught her when she had slipped and how he had put his lips on hers so sweetly.
Everything that had happened before that fateful night in the great hall, she'd deal with it. Sigyn knew all of it - or most of it - and still felt that pull towards him. With Loki, she was much less controled and frustrated. She was just herself. He had never judged her for the things she liked, for who she was. On the contrary, he was fond of it. Sigyn had even ranted about her mother in front of him, a thing she usually would not do, at no cost, in order to maintain integrity and her family's name.
As he told her about that ambush, she winced, her slender hands closed around his lower arms. Now, an ambush was not such a rare event, she figured. Moreover, she was a fighter herself - at least, in her free time. Of course, leaving Asgard for minor or major battles, did not include lots of wine and patting the enemy on the back. But she just could not imagine anything happening to him, without being heartbroken for the rest of her life. He was an Asgardian man, it was his duty to fight and if he fell in battle, he'd fall proudly. But Sigyn would appreciate if this day never came.
Loki had quite some backbone, telling her about what had happened only minutes after he had returned. Or was ist a guilty conscience? If she had learned a little bit about him, she knew that he was a trickster and would lie to benefit from a situation. Yet he had reassured her, he'd be true with her. And her instincts had told her natural caution to shut up. And now, this.
Sigyn's worried face froze. Slowly, she made a step back, removed her hands from his arms. This was Loki. She had fallen in love with the prince like she would have never expected. Everything she had thought him to be, he had not been. But now, he was exactly who she had been scared he'd be: Self-righteous, arrogant and selfish. He was a prince. He'd get what he want, or he'd take it.
With him, she had ceased to struggle and keep her feelings within herself. She had cried in front of him, yes, she had. She had laughed and she had been goofy, admitted mistakes and weaknesses. But after having heard this, Sigyn fell back into her usual pattern of keeping her emotions to herself. Her arms dropped to her sides. All expression vanished from her face. Others would yell and fight and throw a tantrum, ask for more information, insult him or even attack him. Maybe, the woman she had become with him would do as well. But she was turning into her regular self quickly as she stared into his face.
On the inside, however, a storm was blowing. It had only been five months. And while those had felt like an eternity before, they felt like a minute now. Ridiculous. Ridiculous to believe that she had changed anything within him. Ridiculous to think she had become special to him during this time. She was different, so was he. Loki had picked someone that'd match his incomparable being for the sake of keeping up facade. She was a trophy. Had she waited too long? Should she have given him, let her take her to bed earlier? He had made those experiences, she had not and she did not want to end up a harlot. Maybe, he had thought he'd get there sooner and when he hadn't, he had just...picked someone else to satisfy his physical needs.
She didn't think it was her fault, though. She didn't want something regular. She wanted something special. If she wasn't special enough for him to keep it in his pants, then so be it. But she felt so pathetic for having believed she could alter a god's lifestyle. Sigyn had let her guard down with him. She had been fighting with her mother from dusk till dawn about him, about not pursuing his brother, the god of thunder. She had snuck out of the house. She had let him into her every being and he had betrayed her. For the sake of getting off.
Strangely, she appreciated that he had told her, that he wasn't lying about this. But that was exactly the thing: She liked to believe he had never lied to her. So she didn't doubt his confession. Even though, she wanted to. If only he were lying. But looking at him, his face, his voice, she knew he was not. It was true and it hurt her like no pain had hurt before.
Yes, there were a thousand questions on her mind, but what he had just told her was everything she needed to know. "Understand you?", she said bitterly, "I think I do understand you. I understand you perfectly well, my lord." Sigyn adjusted her cape, pulled her hood deep into her face and turned, climbed her horse. As she sat upon it, their gazes met. Her eyes had changed into that golden, caramel color, the color occuring when she was using magic. No control. Maybe, this was the only hint at her inner agony. "Do not speak to me again. Ever. I do not wish to see you, I do not wish to be summoned and I do not wish to be invited to whatever event you might be creating in your mind already, prince of lies. Enjoy your wine when you celebrate your victory,", she said, so calmly, it was almost scary.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 9:55:53 GMT -7
As Loki had imagined and planned his moment, he had expected Sigyn to yell and scream, to hit him, to loose her frustrations at him. He had also thought she might revert to her old ways and lock everything inside. That had been the best-case scenario. But now, seeing her actually close him off, with that blank look on her beautiful face, made him think perhaps he would have preferred a physical attack.
His intentions toward her had been pure. The simple fact of the matter was that she had asked something of him that he could not accomplish. She had wanted him to be chaste as he allowed her as much time as she needed. And he had tried. Did that not count for anything?
She let go of him and turned away, mounted her horse. Loki moved over a few steps to look at her. How strange it was to be the one looking up, rather than the one looking down at her as he usually was.
Now that she was already upset, he probably should have left the matter alone, but there was more to say, and he figured he might as well put it out there now. There was nothing left to lose. "Then I suppose the fact that she may be carrying my child means nothing to you?"
But then he looked into her eyes, and instantly regretted saying it. They had changed color again, as he had become accustomed to seeing when they were practicing magic. What was she thinking, or doing? Or planning to do?
He straightened up and balled his hands into fists. This was ridiculous. He was Loki, a son of Odin. He did not have to answer to her, or to anyone else who was not his father or mother. He feared no one. He did as he wished. He was a prince! and if she did not understand or agree with that, then that was her failing, not his!
This was nothing. He could have another woman waiting in his bed before he even reached the palace, and another and another after that, if he so desired. He could have been doing that all along, her wishes be damned. In fact, she was lucky he had not taken that route. There were plenty of women in Asgard, none of whom would make him wait months. This was her mistake and her loss.
His eyes narrowed, and he took a step toward her, sitting up there so superciliously, judging him with all her being. "I am not accustomed to taking orders, maiden. I will do as I please. If I summon you, you will appear. You will do as I bid you."
It was the first time he had used his position as leverage in their relationship, and the words did not feel as good rolling past his lips as he had thought they would.
He shrank back a little. What of all the times they had shared, and the secrets they had entrusted? Would those disappear, left to them as only faint, miserable memories? He did not want to remember them like this, yet he knew innately that this was his doing.
He just couldn't let it show.
"Now, forget this tantrum of yours. Let us discuss this like proper adults." He folded his arms and waited for her to come down off her horse so that he could talk to her without having to feel so desperately small.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 10:07:18 GMT -7
She winced visibly as he so kindly informed her of yet another bastard child. Her cool, collected outside shook for the briefest of moments, yet again hinting at her inner turmoil. Her voice could not have sounded more bitter as she replied, "Congratulations on becoming a father. Yet again, my lord.", she said, clearing her throat. She could have her melt down back home. In secret. So far, being with Loki had counted as 'in secret', because she had never felt that comfortable around anyone in her entire life. But right now, it felt very different.
This was unbelievable. Not only had he slept with another woman, he had also impregnated her. If it was a woman after all. Perhaps, he chose a donkey this time. Or even worse., Sigyn thought to herself, but did not say a word. Had he planned to become a father again? If so, it was even worse. Secretly, Sigyn had imagined having his children. Raising them, being better than her mother had been. But this little tiny happy place had just exploded into nothingness. She could tell Loki was uncomfortable with the situation. The fact that Sigyn - sitting on that horse - was towering over him. The fact that someone lower in hierachy was putting up a fight against him. A silent, subtle fight. She didn't give a rat's ass. She had not come this far with him to kiss his ass. And actually, right now, she couldn't care less about hierachies. What was he going to do anyway? Have her arrested? Send guards to take her to his place? "Try me," she said, eventually narrowing her eyes, almost hissing at him. There, emotions. But they vanished as soon as she had straightened up again. "Farewell, Loki, Son of Odin.", Sigyn said formerly, kicking her horse and it took off. Farewell, my love, she thought. She was sure, she could hear the sound of her heart breaking, even over the noise of hooves hitting the ground as fast as they could.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 13:14:51 GMT -7
As he told her about the possible child, he spotted the change in her, the slightest break in her façade. It was not a sight he could ever have wanted. There was nothing gracious about her congratulations, and he did not thank her. He simply bowed his head. It could have been taken as a silent gesture of acceptance, but what it was more closely resembled resignation and embarrassment. Was that how he would be known to her now? A part of him felt sick at thought, yet he said nothing to defend himself.
Up until now, with the exception of Sleipnir, none of his children had been accidental. He had been in a relationship before. It had not been a faithful relationship, more a convenient arrangement, and there had been no reason to even consider marriage. It had been nothing like what he had shared with Sigyn. Comparing the two felt absurd.
He had imagined Sigyn bearing him children. They would be beautiful, intelligent, the best of both of them. They would be happy, unlike the others. Unlike him. And she would be his princess… his wife.
What did she want from him? To apologize, to beg her to stay? He would do neither. He had a reputation to uphold; he had his position to consider. Besides, he had offered to talk things through, and she had refused. He had done what he could. Yet he was conflicted; he needed to save face, yet he realized just how much trouble his decisions had caused, how much pain she felt and would feel. Or so he thought.
He had no idea just how deeply Sigyn had fallen for him - and he for her. Perhaps a cognizance of such would have changed things. But he had been blissfully oblivious to the fact. He had never treated his own feelings as valid, and seldom understood the feelings of others. He could see rage, hate, fear, the ones he could easily associate with, but the more profound emotions never reached him. It was for his own safety, and now, his own detriment.
But it was not until she steered her horse away that it really hit him. She was gone, and more than likely gone for good. He had pushed his luck with her too far. All dreams of their future were dashed, torn to shreds by what he had done. How much of this was his fault, and why did he not take responsibility for it? Mere pride? For the sake of being a prince?
He stood there for a time, gazing in the direction she had taken. She was gone from sight. Perhaps he was hoping she would turn around, come galloping back to him. If so, his hope was futile. After waiting and watching for some time, he turned back to his horse, and started on his way back home, slowly and steadily pushing all thought of her out of his mind.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 13:43:50 GMT -7
What had he done to safe what they had? Nothing. He had offered to talk, but oh, in what manner? Although he had been standing in front of her horse, he had still managed to talk down to her, use his status, threaten her even. He had not shown remorse or guilt. He had expected her to just take his shit and deal with it. What could she make of that? How in the nine realms could she possibly assume that he wanted her as much as she wanted him, if it took him a few days of being apart and nine months of chastity to bed another woman? Loki had screwed up. Sigyn had thought that he didn't crave to maintain his reputation and face when he was with her. At best, she had been wrong. At worst, he had honestly meant what he had said and considered her a hysterical maiden for her reaction. It didn't matter. Sigyn was riding back home. She knew what was going to wait for her there. Pain. Days, weeks of feeling so miserable that she barely got out of bed, didn't eat. Even a goddess was not spared by the pain of getting her heart broken. She had found countless excused to stay away from public events. She had sent her handmaiden out to get whatever she needed, instead of getting it herself. She had successfully managed to keep out of his way. At night, her mind was going a mile a minute. She did not even know how the woman, who had taken her man, looked like, yet she could not stop picturing her with him. Sigyn had never been taken to bed by a man, yet the images of Loki and his former lover in action did not cease to torture her. How could it have been had she not put him on hold for so long? After a while, she was repulsed by herself and thought that she was guilty of this, too. She could have fought. Could have stayed that fateful day and talked. But what could talking possibly have done to them? It didn't take away his betrayal. And he had betrayed her. She didn't need to carry his name or title in order to be cheated on. The pain didn't fade. It didn't get better. Her heart was not healing. Sigyn felt like she had lost a limb. She was walking, but it didn't feel right. She was breathing, but it wasn't satisfying. The void their break up had created would never go away. It was then that Sigyn realized how close they had been, on a level neither of them would have expected. It was something that could hardly be named. Soulmates, maybe? Meant to be? She didn't know. Five months in the lives of the eternal was nothing, yet their bond had been as strong as Thor's hammer. She knew, she'd forever want him. But she'd also be forever heartbroken. After some time, quarrels occured with Muspelheim, the home of the demons and one of the nine realms. Surtur, it's ruler, declared war on Asgard. He wanted Odin's position. Naturally, the Allfather did not take that too well. Asgard was in an uproar of fear. And one fine day, Odin and his warriors left for Muspelheim, defending Asgard's freedom and independency. Sigyn had not attended the offical goodbye-ceremony. She was still to hurt, incapable of looking Loki into the eyes. Because had he seen her gaze on that day he had left, he would have known that she was not over him. That she was worried for him and prayed he'd be safe. Time passed. Rumors and gossip grew. The longer the warriors stayed away, the more nervous the city grew. It was like a ghost lingering in every corner. Every smile exchanged was overshadowed by the worry for the absent fighters and Asgard's future. Days passed. Weeks followed. It took unusually long. In the streets, people spoke of warriors fallen, of great fighters in Valhalla. Sigyn winced every time she heard such a story. Eventually, what was meant to happen, happened. She overheard a couple of young females talking about the warriors. How Loki had died in Thor's arms. Another girl objected, told her she only knew of Loki being badly wounded. Sigyn had dropped the bowl she had been holding that day. She had frozen. The pain had poured out of every cell in her body. She had felt sick, almost thrown up. Her handmaiden had to support her as they had walked home. Loki dead. Loki injured. Sigyn had felt numb, dead. It was so confusing. She was not as special to him as she had thought, as he had made her believe. He had fucked another woman and just shrugged it off. She had to accept the fact that she loved him more than he loved her, if he even did at all. Yes, love. By now, she knew that. Only that it was the tormenting kind, unrequited love. A thing that would not be. But when the word death had been mentioned, she regretted having been so harsh on him, avoiding him, villanizing him. Her handmaiden and mother were discussing over fabric on the market of Asgard. The three of them were out to buy new fabrics for dresses and tablecloths. Both her mother and handmaiden had to drag her out of the house. She had joined, because if she could avoid a discussion, she would these day. Sigyn was holding a huge piece of green velvet in her hands, staring at it. Her body was here, but her mind was elsewhere. Softly, her thumb went over the soft fabric. She was barely thinking. This was a good thing these days. "The warriors! They are back! Odin is back!", someone in the street started to yell. It was a boy, barely 10 years old, running through the streets, spreading the news. People stopped at whatever they were doing and just took off, running towards the huge yard in front of the great hall, in order to cherish and welcome their heroes and honor the fallen. Sigyn stood there, people rushing by and suddenly, her mind was racing and so was her heart. She acted on impulse. Didn't think. She dropped the piece of fabric and ran for her dear life. Her mother and handmaiden barely realized what was going on. Sigyn was holding the skir of her dark red dress as she was running. She felt elbows in her ribs, hand shoved in her face as she passed through. It was a miracle she didn't get run over. Another alley, another shortcut and she was standing on the great yard. The sun was shining down on Asgard vehemently these days. There were people and people and people right in front of her, she could barely see anything. She didn't stop. She kept on pushing, shoving people out of the way, that cursed at her in return. She had to get to the front row and see what was going on. See for herself whether he was dead or alive. Just to make sure. Well, she was not planning what she was going to do. She just could not stay away. She missed him so much, it hurt. Sigyn had never expected emotional devastation to be an affliction, but it was one and she had been ill from it for quite some time. And finally, she had made it. She was standing in the front row, holding her skirt, her chest rising and falling heavily from her fast running. People were smiling, cheering, girls were fainting. There were a lot of horses standing on the yard. In front of them, the warriors that had returned. The Warriors Three and Lady Sif were standing on the far left. Odin and Thor were the centre of attention. Sigyn's gaze nervously went over the spectacle. And there, he was standing. Standing.. His armor was ruined. There were several layers of bandages wrapped around his middle, still stained of blood. He looked pale, exhausted, but he was alive. And he let his brother and father have the attention. Sigyn choked and started to shake. Look at me, Loki. Look at me. By the Allfather, please look at me.outfit
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 14:57:17 GMT -7
The celebration of the warriors' safe return following their ambush was lively and full of food and drink. The others had waited for him, and once he arrived, they ate and drank and laughed until the room rang with merriment. He drank more than he ever had in one sitting, and ate so much he was like to burst. The feast carried on for hours, and when it was done, he called for a woman and bedded her. This was the way warriors celebrated; it was wholly natural.
It was the last time he would eat heartily, drink heavily, or bed anyone for weeks.
In stark contrast to the way he had partied that evening, the next morning found him essentially dead. The change in moods was completely unexpected and, to him, unexplainable. He kicked the woman out and kept to himself for the rest of the day. The reason for this sudden downcast mood escaped him, even as he tried to figure it out. He saw no one for the entire day, and retired early.
That night, he dreamed of Sigyn.
The details of the dream fled him upon waking, but she was now on his mind. He wanted to talk to her, not about what had separated them, but about anything. He had become so accustomed to turning to her to complain, to joke, or for advice that her absence left a hole in his life. The time he would have spent with her left him with nothing to do.
Time passed, and he expected to forget about her. Everything faded with time, even thoughts of women. But she had been more than a woman to him. A friend, a protégée, a potential wife. She had filled a void he had not known existed within him. Now he was hollow, and he filled that space with anything he could. Nothing satisfied. Even the thought of sex had no effect on him. He was dead, useless, a walking shell. It was all he could do to avoid his family so they might not notice.
Surtur's announcement of war could not have made Loki happier. It gave him a distraction. He trained harder than he ever had in the time before Odin's convoy left. It was easy to avoid him; he seldom left the palace grounds until it was time to travel to Muspelheim. When they did leave, he found himself scanning the crowds in search of her, but she was not present, though he did see her mother in the crowd.
The adventure went as expected. It was like a breath of fresh air for Loki. He had needed a change. The farther from home they got, the better he felt. The thought of getting to take his frustrations out on some demons helped as well. He fought hungrily, brutally, taking out as many foes as Odin and Thor themselves, without need of his sorcery. He had never done so well in battle.
Until an errant blade slashed through his abdomen, entering along his side and not stopping until it was nearly halfway through him.He'd never seen his attacker, and did not, not even after Thor took the demon down with a howl of anger. Loki had fallen by then, and was surrendering to the pain, which was pulling him into a spiral of darkness. But when Thor knelt by his side, the young god pulled back in confusion. Loki was laughing. Hysterically, like a madman on the brink of breaking. Everything he might have lived for once had been stolen from him, except for one - the one he had pushed away, never to see her again.
And now he was going to die.
The contingent of warriors could not leave until Loki was able to travel. That held them up for some time. Loki's ability to heal depended on his magic and his will, and for some reason unknown to the others, it took much longer for him to do so this time. He was bandaged and looked after, and he slipped in and out of consciousness often. The warriors set up a camp for him after the battle was through. He ate little and drank less, taking only as much as the others forced him to. Finally they felt he was in a good enough state to travel, both physically and mentally. Something about him had changed, but no one could quite tell what.
They marched home, with Thor riding next to his brother the whole time, trying to lift his spirits with stories and compliments on how well he had done. Loki mostly nodded and gave the necessary chuckle now and then. The journey had been long and arduous, but felt more so on the way back.
Then they were home, and the kingdom had gathered to welcome them home. Loki slowed down and fell back. He usually basked in the glow of attention, but not today. This day found him weary and still in pain. He dismounted and began to walk his horse, planning to head to the stables and then to his room by the route with the fewest eyes.
His gaze fell on her as though he had known she was there already. Dressed in an elegant red gown, she waited among the crowd, she who had not seen him off, she whom he had offended and hurt so deeply. Once he saw her, he could not tear his eyes away. She was a vision. Had he died, and was this somehow Valhalla? He knew not, and he continued to stare, not impudently as he had when they had met, but with a growing sense of relief.
Relief, regret, confusion, everything that had built up in him since the last time they had spoken finally reached the surface, and before he realized it, he was walking toward her, slowly because of the pain, and because he was unsure how she would react to him approaching her. But he did, with all the hope he had ever had.
Sigyn, please forgive me.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 15:11:05 GMT -7
And so it began, yet again, with a stare. After seconds, that felt like hours, he finally put his gaze on her. And he did not break eye-contact. Sigyn's body trembled under the relieved chuckle and smile that entered her face the moment he had noticed her. Where was this coming from? She was still heartbroken and boy, she was still mad at him. But the predominant feeling blooming in her was relief. Relief that he was not dead. Relieved to see him standing upright. And there was this other emotion, the one that made her heart beat faster. The one emotion that overcame all the others. The one that'd make her forgive. She might never forget, but what did it matter? Sigyn had never been more miserable in her life than she had been after that one moment in the forest. And she couldn't have that.
Oh boy, she'd scold him and slap him and yell into his face. In time. But for now, all of this did not matter. She had realized what she had given up on when she had heard that rumor about his death. Never again. No matter what he'd do, she would not leave again. They might end up fighting. She might end up having her heart broken again. But she'd be with him. It was strange and it was unfair and it was special.
It took her a second, but then, once more, Sigyn took off. She ran into a guard with half of her body, but she was so full of strength all of a sudden, the broad man stumbled. And he even tried to go after her, as she was running more and more into the space reserved for the warriors. She was too fast. And Loki was coming closer, too. Just a few feet, just a few steps.....
Sigyn fell around his neck without hestitation. She even forgot that it might hurt him. It was an instinct, nature, it had to be. Her face was in the curve of his neck instantly and she started to sob and chuckle at the same time. In public. No restraints, nothing. After all, her face was on his skin, nobody could see her happy, angry, relieved, confused tears just yet. Except for Loki. He'd feel the moisture on his skin.
Words were unnecessary for now.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 15:59:55 GMT -7
It was a bit of a gamble. She might slap him, or shove him away. She might give him that blank look of hers. He was barely thinking, though. He was just walking, because he wanted to. The horse had been left behind. Whether anyone was watching him, he did not know. It didn't matter. Nothing did.
He knew it when she broke into a run. She managed to nearly knock over a burly guard with the force behind her run. He would have run, too, if he could have. He expected she was just running up to meet him, but she did not stop, slamming into him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The impact hurt his wound just a little, but he barely noticed.
She was crying and he didn't know why. He had never heard the rumors, of course. There was more to her tears than that, but all he knew was that she was in his arms and she wanted to be there. That was all he needed at the moment.
They stood like that for a while, with their arms wrapped around each other. Once he felt her tears cease, he lifted her face to look at him and gently wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. She was so close to him… he felt whole, as he had not felt without her. Blinking back tears, he looked at her, unsure what to say.
He could feel eyes on them now, but he did not care. He held her face close to his, looking into her eyes, searching through the emotions he found there, while trying to sort through what he felt himself. It was impossible, it would take time. But perhaps they had time now.
Feeling exhausted again, not only from the pain and travel but now from the overwhelming emotions, he nestled his head in the crook of her neck, and closed his eyes. This was how it always should have been. He had been a fool to let her go and, moreover, to have pushed her away in the first place.
He felt his heart racing in time with hers, an odd feeling. Pulling back a little, he ran a finger along her cheek and looked at her again. She was as beautiful as she had ever been, even as lost as she was. As they were.
"Sigyn…." Her name came out a whisper, soft even for him. But there he stopped, afraid as he had never been. What could he say to her that would not make her hate him again?
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 16:12:21 GMT -7
So they were standing in public, in the middle of Asgard's main yard, surrounded by thousands of people, with Thor, Odin and the warriors behind them. Hugging. Holding each other. Most likely, in a few years, in retrospective, Sigyn would plant her palm into her face about this. Neither of them fancied letting their guards down, much less being witnessed while doing this, yet neither Loki nor Sigyn could stop in this very moment.
Impossible to tell what exactly she felt. She knew this was the right thing and this was all that mattered for now. They exchanged hugs, gazes, Loki wiped her tears away. Were those tears in his eyes as well? She had a hard time not to look down at her own chest, as her heart did not cease to beat violently. Loki looked defeated, exhausted and guilty. Was he guilty about what he had done to her? She wanted him to be. But Sigyn knew, even if he did not regret his act, she'd still be with him. It'd just hurt more. Pain seemed to be a recurrent theme when it came to dating the prince of lies. If this was what came with the package, she was willing to pay the price.
"Shh," she quickly said, putting her finger on his lips. They needed to get out of here. Loki needed to rest. Thor needed the limelight. But one thought struck her all of a sudden. One thing she had to put out there, now that they conveniently were out in the open. Sigyn lifted both her hands, held his face and went on her tiptoes. Her lips met his in an almost feverish rush, yet her touch was tender. This was just a brief reminder. She was still his and he should not worry about having lost her. He could worry about having hurt and upset her later, but for now, she just had to tell him that they were going to work it out. And there were a couple of other people that needed a message. Hundreds of them. Mine, Sigyn thought, Mine and now all of you know.
It was a childish, possessive thought. But in case there was any former lover watching, she should know that there was no shot at Loki to be made as of yet. Married or not, betrothed or not. And in this very moment, something within Sigyn changed. She knew with a deadly certainty, that everyone who'd threaten him or their bond would have to pay a price and she would not hestitate to execute this resolution. Fiercly.
When she finally pulled back, she remained close, held his gaze. "I'm still angry with you, my love, don't get too comfortable." Another peck followed. Her smile was radiant by now. "Come, let's get you inside. You need to rest," she said. And when she finally retreated enough so they could make their way into Odin's palace, she finally saw Thor staring. The God of Mischief had stolen the God of Thunder's limelight. How delightful.
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Loki Laufeyson
Villain Staff
God[M:0]
Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?
Posts: 357
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Post by Loki Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 22:11:54 GMT -7
They were definitely being watched, but that did not keep Loki from embracing Sigyn. The whole realm could see them and he would not care a bit. He would take care of it later. The two of them had waited so long for this. Nothing was going to stop either of them now.
Still, no amount of embrace could have prepared Loki for what Sigyn did next. She kept him from talking for one. He had thought she would expect something from him immediately, before they proceeded. An apology, an explanation, something. For once, he was unprepared. He had not expected to find her here, much less to actually hold her.
And never to kiss her.
He had never been kissed in quite the way Sigyn kissed him then, but he did recognize it for what it was. She was claiming him, marking her territory. It was a message, to him and to every set of eyes on them, and to every set of ears that would hear the rumor afterwards. She was claiming him, and he wanted her to. He liked it.
He returned the kiss eagerly, for himself, for her, and for everyone watching. His parents, his brother, his friends, his subjects. No one would doubt that he had chosen Sigyn as his, and she him, for herself. They had survived this test of theirs, and he was sure they would make it through everything else life planned to throw at them.
This was the woman he wanted. He had known it in some form the night they met. She marked the end of one part of his life, and the start of something else. He saw the change in her eyes. Some thought had just run through her head. They looked at each other, their gazes locked.
She told him she was still angry, and he nodded. He would have been more worried if she had not been angry. That would have meant she had let herself swallow another emotion, to fester within her. He knew she was wont to do that when it came to her mother. That was bad enough without him adding to the problem.
"Must we?" he said, joking lightly, though there was tiredness in his voice. He could feel the wound beginning to heal again. Had he the energy, he would simply have teleported them into the palace, but at the moment, anything beyond a simple illusion was beyond his power. Already he was feeling stronger, though, and it would not be long before he was back to his normal trickery.
Following the direction of her gaze, he found Thor watching them. Actually, by this point, everyone was watching them. He simply wrapped an arm around her waist and started toward the palace. Anyone who was in their way quickly moved to allow them passage. As they walked, he considered a few matters. It was probably time for Sigyn to start adjusting to life as a princess. She would have the court at her beck and call, and access to the finest of everything. It would be quite a sight, his Sigyn as royalty.
Another thought occurred to him. She had referred to him as her love. Had she ever said that before? He did not recall it if she had, but he could easily have missed it. He slipped his fingers between hers and clutched her hand as they crossed the threshold. She was in his home now… he had almost given up on that ever happening.
How glad he was to have been wrong.
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Sigyn Laufeyson
Neutral
Goddess[M:0]
If by my life or death I can protect you, I will.
Posts: 337
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Post by Sigyn Laufeyson on Jun 21, 2012 23:09:16 GMT -7
The more she retreated from his lips, the more Sigyn realized that they were the centre of attention. Not the warriors, that had returned safely, but Loki and her reuniting right in front of all those people. She had wanted to sent the message, claiming him, but now that she felt stared at, Sigyn felt a little embarrassed. She was not used being stared at by the whole of Asgard. Loki might be, but this was a first to her. Would there be repercussions for stealing the attention from battle, with such thing as love? She'd see.
She actually had not thought about princesses and the palace. She had thought about Loki and the person he was, when he was with her. Not a prince, but a man, a sorcerer, a funny, sweet and kind person. Granted, he had used his title on her, once, after he had told her about his mistake. She'd still scold him about this, but that talk was postponed for now. She took his lead, looked at the ground with a bashful smile on her face and brushed her hand over her neck, a nervous habit. While they were walking, she exchanged a glance with him. It was intimate, despite the fact that they were outside.
The moment they entered the castle, staff came rushing towards them, already prepared to take care of the injured prince. Sigyn had no idea where they were after only a short moment of walking. She was not acquainted with the private chambers of the palace, yet she did not leave his side. And when they finally arrived at his personal space, three minions, all equipped with herbs and blankets and fresh bandages, followed. It felt so awkward. She wouldn't leave, not now. But having gotten into these rooms like that, and not after more months of seeing each other and being expressedly asked to join, was not the way she had ever expected it to happen. Oh well,...
"My lord, do you need any assistance with your injuries or changing your attire?", a fair haired maiden asked, bowing her head. Sigyn looked at her. She was pretty, very young and utterly submissive. No, we don't need you here, she thought, but luckily, she found the nerve to keep her mouth shut and not disrespect him in front of his staff. So she stood there, in the middle of the room, hands in front of her body, as she waited for him to determine what was going to happen now. Awkward.
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